This Week in the Mercury

Broccoli, Ballads, and Barry

Music

Broccoli, Ballads, and Barry

An Interview with Barry Manilow


Disaster Movie

Film

Disaster Movie

Everyone in San Andreas Dies Except for the Rock



Friday, May 30, 2014

There's Something Wrong With It

Posted by Anonymous on Fri, May 30, 2014 at 2:29 PM

I don't know why I want to do this, but I do. The urge is there and it grows stronger all the time. I've already taken to doing it at my house and in certain public places, but for some reason, I REALLY want to do it at my work after everyone is gone. I strongly dislike my coworkers, and I think this might be a way of "getting back" at them. Trust me, they're your average middle-aged white people. Yes, I just mentioned a race... SUE ME! Ok, ok... I'll just go ahead and say what it is I want to do: I want to shit on the toilet seat. Now, hold on, hold on, hear me out: It's a victimless crime, really and I find it incredibly funny. And these said "certain public places" consist of porta-potties around town. The one at 82nd and Glisan is the bomb, for that one is already a mess when I get there and I just add onto it. At my house, I simply leave some residual poo on the rim and stare at it for a spell. I'll eventually clean it up, but seeing something like that really stimulates the imagination, if you catch my drift. Have you ever witnessed such a thing? I doubt it, and it being so taboo, so dirty, so "out there" is what fascinates me, I guess. It's all I can do to not do it at work, but goddammit, the urge grows ever stronger. I've taken to staring at the seat after I've taken a dump, just imagining what if would look like... wait, strike that... what it WILL look like. Call me crazy, but it's gonna happen very soon...

Comments (7)

Showing 1-7 of 7

 
Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-7 of 7

Comments are closed.

All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC

115 SW Ash St. Suite 600
Portland, OR 97204

Contact Info | Privacy Policy | Production Guidelines | Terms of Use | Takedown Policy