To the homeless man innocently sitting on the sidewalk a couple of months ago in the warm, spring evening: I am so sorry we farted on you as we walked by. The way we tried to hop over your legs after one too many ciders dislodged the pocket of air hiding within, and as we landed, that gaseous bubble of rank shot out directly towards your face. It was dark, and we kept walking, horrified by what had happened, but not sure if it was you or one of us. Once we ascertained that it was us, we felt truly horrible. I promise you that we don't go around farting on people in unfortunate life situations. Still now, months later, every time I fart I think of you and feel guilty. It was an accident and I'm real sorry, man. My bad.
Farting Made Me Sad
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