As I approached the doors of New Seasons, I noticed a woman sitting on an outside table cramming food into her mouth with complete and utter oblivion to her surroundings. At that moment, I knew I was in for a rough go. I grimaced, took a breath and made my way into the bowels of the store. It's always an ordeal at this place, with people lost in their own worlds, ignorant to the fact that there is an unspoken etiquette that we, as humans, should all abide by. I made my way through the blind, around the inattentive and slipped past the absentminded until I saw you. YOU, who put your basket down squarely in the center of the aisle as you sorted through the bulk foods. Dreamily looking up and down the offered selections, as each person worked their way around your little blue basket. As I came ever closer and my tunnel vision kicked in; everything got blurry around this basket as my heart started to race… and at that moment, that blue basket became the bane of my existence, the symbol of everything wrong with this city and everything that wrong with the world today. It took all I could muster to not kick the shit out that fucking basket and spilling all of your overpriced goods onto the shiny tiled floor. Oh, how I hate you blue basket person, for you are a terrible human being and a degenerate. And one more thing: can we start putting the stylus at the checkout stand back in its holder? That would be fucking awesome.
How Dare All of You
The views expressed in these submissions are from anonymous, unverified sources and do not necessarily represent those of the Portland Mercury.