I dream of an America where every student, teacher, store clerk, gas jockey, florist, roofer, car washer, burger flipper, kid, cat, baby and dog have the right to carry as many guns as they want. (I could have just said all citizens, but I'm not that bright) Hell, the more guns there are, the safer our streets will be, just look at the Middle East and Somalia. I also dream of a day when we can all actually own a rocket launcher… IT'S IN THE CONSTITUTION!! And my dream of dreams is to have an amendment to that pesky constitution to remove the wording from the Second Amendment which says: "A well regulated Militia…" because it states it right there that we can regulate guns and that part always trips me up, so I usually leave that part out when giving my unwarranted constitutional "authoritative" opinion on such matters. I mean, if it LITERALLY says guns can be regulated, then why can't we regulate them? Damn if I don't know and to be honest, it hurts my brain to just think about it. I hope my likeminded brethren and sistren will make impressive logical comments down below, for I want to learn and be teached by such brilliant and fascinating minds. Now where's my sixer of Bud and fresh bag of Cheetos? Bless 'merica!
Last True 'merican
The views expressed in these submissions are from anonymous, unverified sources and do not necessarily represent those of the Portland Mercury.