This Week in the Mercury

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Wednesday, June 11, 2014

I'm Sorry About My Butt

Posted by Anonymous on Wed, Jun 11, 2014 at 9:18 PM

You were so nice to me when I forgot my wallet. You paid for my coffee and every morning you're crazy cheerful.

I'm sorry about the bathroom. It was 7:30am and I just got off my bus. I had some fiber rich cereal for breakfast and things were going downhill fast. By time I walked through your doors I wasn't sure if I even had time. I was wondering if I was going to have to go home, smelling of shit and call in sick to work.

I ran in and used your bathroom, it all exploded in a giant poop bomb. It stayed in the bowl, thank god. But then I flushed. I turned and looked, still a pile of tp and poop. YOU HAVE LOW FLUSH TOILETS. I waited for the water to stop running and then flushed again.

Then the flooding started. I thought about telling you but it was your AM rush and I was embarrassed about the poop flood, so I bought a cup of coffee and went to work.

I'm so sorry.

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