Girlfriend: What the fuck are you doing?
Me: What? Nothing.
Gf: I just saw you punch yourself in the face
Me: No I didn't.
Gf: Um, why is your face all bloody and swollen then?
Me: Blank stare.
I consider myself an intelligent, successful, attractive, 30-something guy that has standards when it comes to dating. Why is it then, that I consistently find myself looking into the mirror and punching myself in the face over and over by dating emotionally unavailable, mentally unstable and unpredictable (though attractive) women?
a) I choose these women because it allows me to feel emotionally superior by focusing on their crazy issues/needs/problems etc. rather than my own personal shit.
b) It gives me the philanthropic satisfaction of "helping others" and that warm and fuzzy feeling of being righteous and good.
c) It just so happens that unstable chicks give great blowjobs.
d) Unconsciously, I believe that I'm really a useless piece of shit that doesn't deserve any better.
e) These women present themselves as sane and normal at first. They find me, I don't find them. It's not my fault.
f) I don't really date these types of women. Did I say that? Pshhht, I got those black eyes running into a brick wall.
Get the best of the Mercury each week in your inbox!