I'm probably wasting my time here, as I suspect that it's the same pitiful I, Anonymous commentators that also do most of the whinging, pissing and crying on wretched little blog. You're probably all fat, friendless fucks that rarely get laid, with nothing better to do at night than cozy up to your computer with your shitty beer and oversized bag of Costco snacks sitting pretty in your "comfy" sweat pants and cum stained t-shirt. This, my fellows, is not the rant for you.
To anyone else reading this that has some semblance of a sex life, listen and learn because I'm fed up with dudes falling short in the cunnilinguist department. You self-aggrandizing studs ever wonder why it seems like you're just whistling in the dark down there? Well, I'm here to tell you.
On second thought, no.. I've already wasted enough of my time on your sorry ass (and cock). Get a goddamned book, do a google search, read a blog, and figure out how to properly pleasure a woman yourself, you lazy fuck. I give the best goddamned blowjob this side of the Mississippi and the least you could do is reciprocate in kind without trying to insinuate that I'M the one with the problem just because you give head like a geriatric cancer patient on crack.
Thanks for nothing. And you're welcome.
Get the best of the Mercury each week in your inbox!