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Friday, June 27, 2014

I'm an Animal

Posted by Anonymous on Fri, Jun 27, 2014 at 2:10 PM

I heard you fart in the cubicle next to mine and I was at a loss for words. I've kept silent to your belches, your fingernail clipping and the eating of fast food at your desk. Call me a wimp or whatever, but we might be working next to each other for another 30 years, so I tend to pick and choose my battles. This fart was too much. You got up to go to the copier and I feared the smell would break loose from your seat… which it did. It hit me gently at first, the initial odor of what I could only assume was some sort of canned chili. I couldn't get it out of my mind (or nostrils) and then the oddest thing happened: I found myself lightly taking it in, almost like I was trying to figure out exactly what it was you had eaten. I took small, fast whiffs, as not to completely take the plunge and breathe deeply. I detected a hint of broccoli and beef, then the lightest scent of tomatoes. I was disgusted with myself, but couldn't stop, so i decided to leave. As I passed the other cubicles on my way to the door, I realized that this odor was coming from the lunchroom and it was not, in fact, your fart. I was a bit relieved that you had only burped, but at the same time, confused over the fact that I was deliberately inhaling what I believed to be another's fart. Gross.

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