Hey porn store clerk-dude disrupting my jack off session: look, I only get an hour for lunch and all but 10 minutes of that time is spent actually eating lunch and walking to/from said porn store from/to my office. so you see I only have a precious 10 minutes to feed the video machine and spit shine the ol' johnson so I can find the perfect titillating scene where I can unload my sack. when you somehow jimmy open the locked door (WTF!?) to my booth and ask me if I need any "help" — well, that kinda kills the mood and wilts the wiener. Your job is to make change at the counter and to mop up the jizz. Capiche?
The views expressed in these submissions are from anonymous, unverified sources and do not necessarily represent those of the Portland Mercury.