I'm a great actor, nobody can tell. This is to you, you know who you are. I was so scared of you, I knew you were bad. Mom didn't listen I never wanted you to be my stepdad. My earliest memory was my dad leaving and for 12 more years every day was worse than the last. You seemed so strong then, but time changes everything. I wanted you to die so bad back then, I prayed for it every night while gripping that knife. More than a decade you kept up your shit and nobody helped. I've buried my feelings so deep. I act like you sometimes and that's the worst. I see you inside me and wish I could die. You broke two little kids and never had to pay. I no longer wish you dead. I want you to live for years with cancer instead. I want you to get out of my head, I want to remove all the mean things you said. I hate the pictures that flash in my head My broken toys, the tears that I cried, the way you would taunt me and tease me the screams you would yell I never knew things like security, trust, home, childhood. peace, and reason. I I have nothing to remember but fear. All that you taught me was how to protect myself. I'll win despite you, go fuck yourself.
I'm not the only one who carries a heavy load of shit in this world, so everyone be a little nicer to each other.
Remember not everyone had it easy and be thankful if you did. To anyone who's ever had to feel how I felt my whole life, I hope you find peace. To those who don't know what its like keep your shit to yourself.