Enough with the window decals, license plate covers and bumper stickers. NOBODY GIVES A SHIT. You're not even an ethnic Hawaiian Islander, you're just some white kid whose parents decided to retire early...and now you've moved back to the mainland.
Poor baby. Couldn't hack it in paradise? Well it's certainly not stopping you from reminding every living thing about the precious island heritage that you were forced to abandon because it costs $30 for a Domino's pizza, bro. I mean, like you'd think Kona beer would be cheaper on Waikiki but no, it's still shitty and expensive and hey, at least Crest toothpaste doesn't cost $10 in Hillsboro.
I mean... kudos for being a former-Hawaiian who actually bothered to get Oregon plates. That's a rarity.
But you better save room on the back window of your PT Cruiser for when you start identifying as an Oregon Native and you need to slap a bunch of retarded Dutch Bros stickers on there, too.
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