I broke up with you because you cry all the time. At the drop of a hat you break into tears. Not just when we fought (which was a daily ritual), but for any reason happy or sad. Cute puppies: tears. Any perceived slight: tears. Minor conflict with coworkers or your "best friend" du jour: crocodile tears. Now you call me up, crying uncontrollably, asking why I'm doing this to you. I think I'll record your next phone call, which I imagine will be coming soon, just so I can replay it for you and you can hear this shit for yourself.