This Week in the Mercury

State of Emergency

Books

State of Emergency

Claudia Rankine's Citizen Should Win the National Book Award


Everything as Fuck

Columns

Everything as Fuck

Fight! Fight! Fight!



Sunday, July 27, 2014

Brunch Babies

Posted by Anonymous on Sun, Jul 27, 2014 at 8:34 AM

Here's a tip for the couple of twenty-five-year-old twits who were so miserably unhappy with the bacon I served at brunch today: if you want your bacon cooked crispy, then you need to let your server know when you order it. I actually can read minds, but I'm not paid well enough to excercise that particular superpower, & hand-holding costs decided extra, too. Also, since you complained to my manager that I was curt with you, let me also tell you that you can probably expect brusque, disinterested service for the rest of your miserable lives, because servers, like people in general, cannot stand snivelers. Fuck you for being big sensitive babies, fuck you for not tipping me, & fuck you especially for not knowing how to order bacon, you sniveling twits.

Comments (15)

Showing 1-15 of 15

 
Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-15 of 15

Comments are closed.

All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC

115 SW Ash St. Suite 600
Portland, OR 97204

Contact Info | Privacy Policy | Production Guidelines | Terms of Use | Takedown Policy