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At the Neptune

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

My Pen

Posted by Anonymous on Wed, Aug 6, 2014 at 7:49 AM

I don't really have anything against you apart from the fact that you like the band Nickelback and I have no idea what your problem with me is, as I'm pretty sure I am an absolute pleasure to work with. I brought in donuts once, which is pretty nice. I found them in a bin and left them near your desk. When you asked, "Who brought these donuts in?" I replied, "The girl from the shop across the road brought them in because they have too many" and watched you eat four, complaining between mouthfuls that they weren't very fresh. You would have eaten them all but stopped after finding a dead cricket in the box.
My very first run in with you was when you blamed me for stealing pens from you desk, which I vehemently denied. You then proceeded to point out the tiny engraved words 'My Pen' you had done on all eight of the pens currently on my desk. It was so small you had to point them out to me with the aid of a loupe. Each two-millimetre high letter was meticulous. When I asked how you had managed to get the letters so perfect, you told me that you had a headset at home with a light and magnifying glass on it. When I asked why you had a headset with light and magnifying glass on it you replied, "For painting collector figurines."
There have actually been twelve formal complaints by you against me but two of those were complaining that nothing had been done about the previous formal complaints so you didn't bother scanning those in.

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