I know it never came up in conversation, but why wouldn't you tell me you don't shave your legs? More importantly, why wouldn't you just do that minimum amount of grooming if you know you're going to be fucking me? WHY THE BIG FUCKING SURPRISE WHEN IM GOING DOWN ON YOU?

I don't care that you don't trim the hedges, I don't need you to have a Brazilian to enjoy being downtown, what grosses me out is my hands on your hairy ass stems while I'm trying to eat your pussy!

I seriously would have stayed down there for as long as you wanted, but I had to cut it waaaay short and it ruined the rest of the experience too. It was all I could think about, it's what I'll try and think about if I'm ever going to cum too fast from here on out.

I'm not returning your calls, texts, or emails. I don't care if you think you got used for sex or not. Honestly, you're lucky I didn't stand up and kick you out, but whatever, I guess I just didn't want you to feel bad about yourself, or worse, argue with you about how you should or shouldn't have to shave. I know nature made us this way, but for fucks sake, nature made us without toothbrushes and deodorant, too.

Ladies, If you're gonna fuck someone and you've got super hairy sticks...at least wear a skirt around the poor bastard and give him a heads up on what you're working with.