I am tired and would like to go lay in the park- or just hang out in the park- along the waterfront and do not feel like laying with the crowd of homeless near the Burnside bridge.
But I can't. Why? Because for some reason Portlanders think it is just such a cool idea to gate off the park for about a third of the year and nearly all of the summer so they can run cheap entertainment that gives yuppies an excuse to be in the park. Yes, you are a yuppie if you need to block off the park, charge admission, and destroy every blade of grass just to have an excuse to leave the house and utilize a public park that you would otherwise never go to. No I don't care if you have tattoos, were actually invited to house parties in high school, and are there for the beerfest- your still a yuppie.
Get over your anxiety, grab a paper bag, and join us for free.
ps- and to the circus; you didn't even leave a patch of grass near the fountain where kids play- are you literally trying to narrow their options so they will pay admission to your cheap show?
Get the best of the Mercury each week in your inbox!