Yup, I've been through this once three weeks ago when I realized I couldn't deliver. It kills me, but I got bit by technical ignorance, and there is no possibility of recovery, I've accepted that now, I spent weeks running through my head of how to fix this, but I've accepted now that somethings just can't be fixed, somethings can't be undone. This is literally my worst nightmare, if I believed in Gods or fate or karma I would wonder why this happened to me, but it's just random. I would never have thought this would happen, hence me not anticipating. I know your more fucked than me, it's farther to fall when you have risen up so far. I fucked myself, I fucked you, it's a fucking fuck fest. I just wish you would yell at me and call me names and tell me I'll never work in this town again, I deserve that for my failure. The reasons don't even matter and we all know that, I've failed and that can't be fixed. I'm not quite ready yet to plan for the future, I may just give up, at least that's what I feel like now. I wish I could show you how much this hurt me when I found out, about how I cried real tears of pain, of how I obsessed over salvaging this somehow, but that's it for me. Once the word gets out, my prospects are straight into the shitter. Let's just get it over with, the waiting is the hardest part, we all know what's coming. It's no less than I deserve for failing, so I guess I'll slither off into soft middle age now and everyone will forget me eventually.