I just wanted to cuddle after yoga class. You convinced me we should eat mushrooms. I just wanted to go swimming in your pool. You said we should get nekkid. I just wanted to fool around. You convinced me to toss your salad. I said let's go for a walk. You decided we should crash the funeral. I said we should at least pay our respects to the grandma. You started licking her ear and got us thrown out. I said let's go wander around downtown. You gave that douchey Beaverton jock a handy-J in the back of Matador for 10 bucks. I said let's get the fuck out of here and go get drunk. You convinced me to blow that sweaty bear outside the Eagle for a shitty eight ball laced with K. I said we should just go home and sleep it off. You took off with some greasy DJ you'd been buying drinks for on my tab. You're the best. Thanks mom.