Portland, if you insist on sending one more dipshit with a large friendly dog my way while I walk my aggressive, antisocial australian shepherd as far from other people as humanly possible after I've yelled "SHE BITES, STAY AWAY! OH MY GOD STAY AWAY SHE WILL BITE YOU!" I will shit bloody bricks. For the love of fuck don't ever tell me you were born "year of the dog" on the chinese Zodiac (because magic is bullshit) and don't insist that the dog I own and know just wants to say "hey." The big yellow ribbon on her collar is to tell you she doesn't. She bites. She wants to bite you. I want to bite you.