All you kids who think I'm some rich jerk just because I'm old and pedaling a bike to my downtown job: listen up. I'm a Marxist, a card-carrying socialist and a long-time donor to Greenpeace (yeah, those folks blocking the Shell boat that you've already forgotten about).

I've marched for civil rights, equality and freedom from religion. I burned my draft card, grew out my hair and got clubbed by Chicago PD in '68. I made sweet love in the mud at Woodstock and dropped acid with Crosby at Monterrey Pop.

What have you done besides post some snippy blog comments and voted in centrist establishment puppets, time and time again? That's why I think it's incredibly outrageous when you fly past me, proclaiming your garbage imaginary politics to someone whose radicalism would eat your carbon footprint for dinner. I'll say it again, in case you didn't hear me this morning.

You, sir, are most certainly NOT "on my LEFT"!!