To the person at the dog park who was upset by my dog’s “hanging coconuts”. Yes, my 11-month old male dog is unneutered since the current opinion in veterinary medicine is that it is hormonally beneficial to wait 9 to 12 months before neutering. Yes, he is a large and unneutered puppy (11 months old, remember?). Yes, his balls hang low. But he is NOT aggressive. He is NOT mounting anyone or anything. All he wants to do is play with the other dogs in the dog park, regardless of their neutering/spaying status. In fact, it’s the small, yippy, nut-less dogs that have a Napoleon complex that are barking their heads off and trying to hump my dog’s knee/ear/side while he just stands there looking perplexed and sad.

If my dog’s balls bother you so much, then look away, you perv. And to the rest of you smug, too-cool, self-righteous, holier-than-thou, think you have a right to judge and criticize other people, hipster wannabes/drama queens/one percenters … here are a couple of tips. Keep your mouth shut. Think before you speak. Work on bettering yourself and becoming a decent human being capable of social interaction. Grow up. Help make Portland a kinder, gentler place.