Summer Issue 2016
WHETHER YOU'RE a veteran stoner, or a new adventurer into the wondrous world of newly legal edibles and oils (see page 67), there are plenty of summer sports that benefit from a gentle haze of THC. Get creative, get high and get active!
If you smoke enough weed, eventually someone will give you a Frisbee. Then, without fail, someone at the party will want to impose their bullshit binary rules on the Frisbee game—whether it's disc golf or "ultimate"—and you'll end up wasting all that sweet summer sunshine being lectured on the finer points of "FROLF." (They hate it when you call it that.) OR you can freestyle your Frisbee game like a TRUE AMERICAN. Administer the desired amount of ganja, and toss the Frisbee back and forth with a partner. Remember, your focus should be on launching the disc so it's level with the ground—just don't spend too much time thinking about how the Earth is actually curved, so the Frisbee will never be parallel with the ground. Instead just focus on the spin of the Frisbee, because, like, everything is always spinning and turning. Cycles, man. Everything is cycles.
Now's a good time to check in with yourself: How high are you? Have you been dabbing? If the answer is "yes," I recommend staying away from any game involving pointy things. Lawn darts are basically suburban throwing stars. Keep it soft, keep it safe.
Since you're already standing in a circle passing a joint around, might as well spend a few minutes kicking around the "devil's nut sack." The rules are simple enough to understand for even the most blazed party guest. Just keep that tiny-Rasta-soccer-ball off the ground. Play some tunes—hopefully something with arrhythmic guitar riffs, so you can really "feel it." You'll tire of hackin' after a few minutes, if you're doing it right.
Ha. Cornhole. Hahhahaha. Heh. Why is it called that? Ha. It's so funny. Cornhole.
Throwing Snacks into Mouths
Focus on snacks with some heft: baby carrots, Goldfish crackers, edamame, Lil' Smokies. Popcorn and chips lack the necessary mass to accurately estimate toss force and trajectory.
Watch TV Outside
What if we just brought the TV onto the porch? I feel like that will work.
Dab it up, and take all the edibles, because nothing can stop the simple joy of hula hooping. Using Frisbee principles, launch the hula hoop around your body, keeping it as level to the ground as possible, then shift your weight from side to side. Don't think too much about it, or it'll fall to the ground every time. Just think about the spinning hoop, man. Circles, cycles... everything is cycles.