When composing an I, Anonymous, why does everybody direct the letter to the person they are complaining about? Chances are that person/those people will never know about your rantings. I mean, I get it, but why not speak directly to your actual readers? For example, you could say, "So how about this homeless person, sales clerk, bus driver, boyfriend, girlfriend, sister-in-law, random asshole on the street, driver, cyclist, bartender, client, co-worker, customer, pedestrian who really pissed me off?! Here is what s/he did..." That, or simply tell the story in a narrative form using first person, or third of you're that kind. The Dear (insert perpetrator here) template is growing old. Think outside the dear.
look here , i did not fucking sign up for this shit, i don't get up every morning to listen to you as bullshit just spews from you mouth. i work to hard for the shit that i have , do you know how hard it is to be 15 and in your last year of high school? fuck no ,your too damn high to even focus in school. i study every damn waking moment to get a good education , and your damn stalking is NOT helping. all i ever fucking want is for you to just shut the hell up for once in your miserable life you lowlife cock sucking bastard. you do nothing, but follow me around and watch everything i do. but now your breaking into my house and leaving me notes?! stay the hell outta my house and outta my life i don't want your diseased ass around me you sleep with whatever sleazy hoe that comes your way. I'm a grown ass fucking woman and can sure as hell kick your skinny tweaking ass into next week next time you step foot on my property!
So your flourescent light bulbs only last until i lose the receipt that i need to return them because they burned out way before the box says they will.
Thats problem one. Maybe my fault for not saving my reciept. BTW im putting the receipt in the fixture this time so it will magically appear when the new bulbs burn out before they are supposed too. HA!
Problem two: Home Depot refused to recycle the flourescent bulbs YOU SOLD ME. Ok pretty sure thats against the law. So instead of gracefully accepting them from me i jammed them into your flowerbed out front as i left. (Yeah i know some wage slaver just has to go clean that up now but if we all stick together we can fight these greedy corporate fucks!)
So, you're tired of everyone being so darned "politically correct" all the time. It is true that the internet and much of Portland are riddled with PC whistle blowers who want to tell you how privileged and secretly racist you are, all while also being privileged and secretly racist themselves. So what do you do about it? You make supposedly ironic jokes that are sexist, racist, homophobic, etc. because what used to be regular old bigotry is now somehow edgy. Now we're really seeing your balls! How courageous you are to fight the fascist forces of political correctness!
But maybe you could stop and think for a second today, "Hey, my backlash against the concept of political correctness is actually far more harmful to oppressed peoples than it is to this emotionless concept that I dislike for purely selfish reasons." Because it's not about politics, and it's not about being correct. It's about being a decent fucking person who treats other humans with respect, and it seems that some of you have forgotten that.
Yeah, yeah, my rant it totally gay. Go ahead and get it out of your system.
I feel your eyes bearing down upon me. Now you’re really staring at me as I swiftly walk past you. They cut through me, yet I have grown immune to it all. I hear the remarks as I’m near & it’s just plain sinister. Shim, mahu, tranny, I’ve heard it all before, & it has gotten spoiled rotten years ago. Your xenophobic harassment hurts.
I suggest you try something that might blow your brains: keep it inside there, don’t let it out, don’t shout or spew derogatory hate speak in the vicinity of me. I can’t control your xenophobia but, I would also suggest a class (or classes) so you’ll become educated on human rights (well that’s far-fetched).
You simulate progressiveness, yet you are such an immature prick! What gives you the right to hassle a stranger in public? Nothing! I’ve dealt with this sort of public shaming my whole life, not only have people verbally abused me, but physically attacked me years ago in high school (& got away with it). I would like it to end now!
I am a biological woman (more logic than you actually harbor) & have androgynous features, I don’t wax because it’s my body, my choice, it doesn't concern you at all. Regardless of that fact, there’s no format in which this behavior is acceptable or okay. What’s eating at your ability ( or lack therefore) to treat a person with respect? Come to terms with that before opening your mouth (to your dingy group of friends). High school ended years ago, step off!
I bought an expensive monthly pass for tri-met but it was not yet the end of the month, four days away. I thought I could use it. Well of course not, the ticket agent got in and said it wasn't valid yet. I asked him to give me a chance but he treated me like a drug smuggler. You and your co-workers are ticket Nazis. I am sure you guys would have loved to lived in those times where you could arrest someone in the street for not carrying "Aryan" ID. Nobody in Portland likes you pseudo-cops, You are against poor people. You treat people like criminals. Fuck you. The bus and train drivers those are real workers. You fare ticket assholes work for the man, for the system. The city HATES you.
I appreciate innovation, but damn it if Apple's new mobile operating system doesn't make organizing photos lifted from social media sites of old partners and crushes frustratingly difficult. I know the photo might have been taken and date stamped last year, but I just found it and downloaded it and that should be reflected in my "moments."
When I first noticed you sleeping on a discarded mattress next to my apartment building, comfortably tucked between the bushes, I felt a little jealous at your sweet repose on such a sunny day. There I was, about to seclude myself inside and work while you enjoyed the rare rays of early Fall sun. Later, I came outside to discover you'd dragged the mattress onto the sidewalk and taken a huge dump and piss on it. That's when I knew you were the most resourceful douche bag I'd ever seen.
I am son of immigrants (Kenya) and born an raised in Portland Oregon. I was born at the Kaiser hospital now Adidas remember when Interstate had bus 5, North Portland was predominately African-American with that said.
I am a Technology Salesman. The reason I am writing is I am tired of white women Portlanders who switch there bags when I am walking down the street or in an elevator (in my suit and tie). Listen I know Portland Multnomah County Hawthorne is the most liberal progressive minded area. I live there however, I have to rant that I wish European American women understand that not all black people are going to rob you especially if they have a suit and tie on. Yes if the max or tri-met is full you can sit next to me. I will not bit. Yes you live in North Portland but, you still are not diverse. Just because you have a tribal tattoo, smoke weed and listen to Jay-Z. No you can not touch my hair and yes we have to keep our hair wraped at night. I still love Portland but come on. Do you folks come from east coast midwest where you are exposed to black folks?
i was in a long relationship,untill he broke it of i was hurt at first because he was well my first. he told me to move on so i did but now hes stalking me . he stole my house key,and my school ID.ive cought him several times in the act of sneacking around my house and following me. i know he took the key and stuff because i went over to his house to return his clothes and ect. when i found them,he smokes weed witch was always normale but noe hes doing something else and hes getting really creepy with the stalking thing. he came over one day after i caught him spying on me through the fence of my ally. he told my mom he wasnt over me and that he wanted to talk to me but i had left imideatly.Am i beaing to paranoid? i dont think so. and didnt he tell me to move on ? what should i do?
Your dog does not have to shit in the middle of the sidewalk. I teach my dog lots of things and one of them is to eat your face. Nothing pisses me off more than some asshole with a tattoo of an anus on his forehead who tries to guilt me for change while I'm eating. I'll give you a $1 if you cover yourself up with this garbage bag and sit on that corner around 5a tomorrow morning. Yeah, I get it, the economy sucks, but the reason you can't get a job is because you smell like regret and continue to make bad decisions. Stop trying to be different, you look like a sociopath. Stop saying, "I'm from Portland, which is pretty rare these days." You know what's original and rare these days? Native fucking Americans who want to shit on your grand daddy's grave. You were conceived in the back of a Denny's in Gresham, it's not the same as Portland.
I'm so tired of crazy. I put in the time, I do the heavy lifting, I show up but it doesn't make any difference. I swear to God the next time I'm trapped on the 15 with a looney and her walker I'm going to strap a vest on her, roll her into a crowd of Tea Baggers and send them all to Glory. God help me!
Anonymous wants to rant about how we came to Portland. In June we arrived to Portland from a 3,000 mile, seven hour trip to start our life over. Our relative with a bible degree he got on line, took us to his home in Snuffyville down in Southern Oregon. He has milked the system all his life, and we were sure he was a changed man. He is married to a woman that is also a bible thumper. She told us stories of when she was a child and fond memories of her Father. Eah Gads! He made them eat their bunny they had raised and named. Not only that, they had to kill and dress it.
Our relative was proud of his macho gun abilities; and one night we came in their house late, and he had a rifle and bow an arrow propped at the back door. He is and was unstable as hell, and he spouted bible verses as he is Deacon in some off the wall Church. We packed our bags and headed up to Portland to safety from the rural community of no blacks, asians, Catholics, or Jews.
We love it here.
When went into Safeway late in the night sometime last week, I was shocked to hear the comments you made to not only your co-workers, but to customers in the store. You are a creepy, creepy man and sexual harassment of that sort in the workplace (or any place) is simply unacceptable. I can't believe that you said "Oh, will this be another harassment write-up?" Or whatever the words were that escaped from your fat, greasy misogynistic lips. You are a piece of shit just like my girlfriend told you you were. Yes, I know you know that I know that you know that it was me that reported you to your supervisors. I strongly recommended that it be taken up with corporate HR when asked what sort of action I wanted to be taken. I followed up and called back when I got home after reporting you, sad man. I relayed my story 4 times and will gladly do it again. I don't know if you'll lose your job creepy man, but I will do my best to make it happen. Furthermore, if you ever see me in there shopping, get the fuck out of my way and don't look at me. Because I am just dying to have the slightest reason to report you to management again. Get your fucking shit together you pathetic dickless lizard.
My boss lady says if you need a little over time to finish your job, I'd rather you take the OT vs have a pissed off customer or drop the ball on something important.
Totally valid and totally awesome of her.
Although it does amaze me how there is only ONE co-worker in the office who manages to get OT every week.
The rest of us get our shit done without needing that extra hour every day.
This habitual OT'er doesn't have more clients or more duties that would fill up more of her 8 hr day.
I just don't like people who are abusing the OT system.
Or is the Beer Capital, something different, as KOIN TV spells it? According to their story, the government shutdown is keeping new beers in Oregon from getting Federal approval for labels.
Fuck that anyway! Especially now that government is shut down. Remember the First Amendment? Write what ever the fuck you want on your own labels. If you misrepresent your product, then you can just be sued like the idiot you would then be, but it isn't the job of the police of the BATF to fucking censor your damned beer labels.
I hope this government shutdown is permanent, so that business can get on with doing business, without waiting around for Big Brother to waste time and money. With the ATF shutdown, now the brewers are free to do what they want, and they don't even know what to do with their freedom. This just goes to show how fucking brainwashed people are, and what wimps they have become. Do you think that Samuel Adams, the non homosexual brewer who dressed up like an Indian and dumped his competitors' tea into the bay, was waiting for government approval of his labels? True, it was rather chicken shit of him to disguis himself and blame Injuns.
I'd like to see a new brew mixed with hops, malt, gunpowder and Prince Albert. The label can have a picture of O'bama Husein Bin Laden, for all I care.
Portland might brew a lot of beer, and the Wilmette Valley grow World class hops, but Beer Capitol?
I started entering contests on your site back in 2012 [This person is not talking about the Mercury site, btw!—eds]. At first I seem to win a contest about once a month, but after about 5 months I hit a dry patch. Now it's been over 9 freakin' months since I have won anything on your site, even though I go to it every day and enter my 10 entries in the various drawings. I've been keeping an eye on others on the site, and have been noticing a few that seem to win every drawing they bother to enter (like Ms. LL).
This is BULLSHIT!
If this keeps up I will find away to expose this collusion and bring your little game to light.
Consider yourself warned!
Dear bartender. You know me I'm that guy who always tips at least somewhat over the mendoza line and never causes trouble. I just ask that my budwieser gets refilled regularly. I'm easy. I drink pay say thanks and leave.
So why do some of you get it and some of you don't?
Comp me that 4 th or fifth beer and I will tip you more even though my tab is actually less. I walk away happy and more willing to come back. You get paid little more and hopefully the owner cares more about that and me coming back then he does about the beer.
Can we agree on this?
It blows my fucking mind how people pick and choose the strangers they are nice to. At the end of your bar last night was the nicest man I’ve ever met. And sure, to talk to him I had to write on a piece of paper just to communicate with him because he’s deaf, but what a great guy. You bartender ex friend of mine, walked into your shift with already a chip on your shoulder, and decided to take it out on this man why? I found out from him that you’ve served him before. I also found out that you were the nicest bartender he’s ever met. We exchanged compliments towards you. You knowing sign language was the greatest gift he had received, since moving here.
The guy is over 60 years old which means he’s probably really good at reading lips. When you walked in last night and said “oh no not you again”, with your face slightly turned so he couldn’t see. You forgot that there was a mirror in front of you and he read everything that you said about him. I tried to get you to shut up! He read you say that you hate it when he’s there because all he wants to do is sign. That old fucker was proud to know you. He found a cute blonde bartender who could actually speak his language. And last night, you made an old man actually cry tears from his fucking eyes as he scooped up his change and walked out, you bitch.
I work for a company that employs nearly 8,000 people. I regularly interact with about 10 people every week within my department but when you call in and your account CLEARLY marks you as an employee in a different department and I don't know who you are - don't be a fucking snatch-bag.
Also, unless you're classified as a VIP *member*, demanding VIP treatment doesn't fly with me. Being an employee guarantees you nothing, (which you should know, as an employee).
You were rude and insulting then asked for my manager, who catered to zero of your needs and gave zero fucks about your tantrum, (which was awesome).
You're a jackass. I hope your day is as shitty as your attitude and you fucking wise up and be decent (to kind) to people who are perfectly pleasant to you.
As reported by HOWARD FENDRICH, AP Pro Football Writer: "NFL says it'll meet with tribe about Redskins name"
Is there really a Redskins Tribe? Do the Washington Redskins actually own an Indian as it's mascot? Does the team have some guy dressed up as a native American Indian with red face on to be their mascot, and if so, do they pay him or own him?
The Oneida Indian Nation is campaigning for the Washington Redskins to change their mascot. Are they owning the characterization?
Do they have a point? If so, then what about the NFL's Kansas City Chiefs, NHL's Chicago Blackhawks, or Major League Baseball's Cleveland Indians and Atlanta Braves?
Then what about changing the name of the Multnomah County Court? What should we call it? How about Captain Kangaroo's Playhouse?
I really want to thank Dr [name redacted] for saving my marriage. My husband really treat me bad and left the home for almost 1 month i was sick because of this, then i contacted traditionalspellcaster for help, they told me that my husband is under a great spell of another woman. They cast a spell of return back of love on him. And he came back home for forgiveness and today we are happy again, i want you all who are having relationship, ex and even husband problem to contact [email redacted]. Wish you all success
[Readers: Normally we don't publish obvious spam—except when the spam is especially heeelarious!—eds.]
I bet it makes you feel real bad to see women who are skinny, even if they have no known drug problems and are well known vegans. And yet you're proud of your curvy body; perhaps you have a burlesque show. But I guess you're not proud enough of yourself not to shout, "Get healthy, we want to see you in twenty years," and "I saw you twenty years ago and you were beautiful." Twenty years ago, Fiona was 15, so I presume you must mean around the time she made the "Criminal" video and was even then being shamed for teaching young women eating disorders. If you've been following Fiona for twenty years, you should know exactly how she reacts to being cat called about her body. In fact, as a woman, you should know how a woman reacts to being told she's old and has an eating disorder, as she attempting to do a job. Exactly what reaction did you expect? The crowd to clap. Fiona to say, "Yes I have an eating disorder, and oh, curvaceous woman why don't you come up and teach me your ways?" Fiona assumed you must be with TMZ or Perez Hilton, and can you blame her? They too are obsessed with telling women how to present their bodies. We were then treated to a ten minute spectacle of obnoxiousness from the crowd and Fiona, when we could have been listening to "I Know," one of her best vocals the last time she was in Portland. So thanks for your input, body lady. There really is a problem with weight in America and it's not that most people are too thin. Air your body issues to your shrink.
So, you moved to Portland because it's weird, artsy and on the cutting-edge of cool. I look different than you because I am all of the above mentioned qualities so it strikes me as ironic your obviously wealthy ass finds it necessary, if not second nature, to mean mug me and obviously judge me for my place in this city or society. Well asshole, my place in this society is to create new things that you will no doubt consume and underpay me for. Jesus fucking Christ rich transplants, go home!
10. Borrow a parked bike from Portland State, for a ride in the rain to Powell's Book Store.
9. Read a copy of 'Steal This Book,' by Abbie Hoffmanin, in the coffee shop at Powell's.
8. Leave the store with a copy of 'Steal This Book'.
7. Borrow a few fivers from customers outside at Powell's.
6. Ride up to the library at PSU to use the computers there to post some Spam at the Merc.
5. Find a comfortable chair for a nice, little, nap.
4. Go to the restroom and take a big crap.
3. Go to Rough Hall for a sandwich and beer with the borrowed fivers.
3. Go back to PSU to find one of the many public restrooms and take a leak.
2. Ride the borrowed bike back down to the Recyclery and visit with robbery Fencemaster.
1. Take a cab back home in the rain.
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