Well obviously, I'd cut off his nose to spite it.

Maybe Stick it on the seat post of Rosy O'Donnell's bike.

A little rouge and some eyeliner

I think that the best thing to do with Humpy's face would be to make some sort of puppet-style contraption and then get a ventriloquest to get it to sing: The Humpy Dance is your chance to do the hump Do the Humpy Hump, come on and do the Humpy Hump Do the Humpy Hump, just watch me do the Humpy Hump Do ya know what I'm doin', doin' the Humpy Hump Do the Humpy Hump, do the Humpy Hump Black people, do the Humpy Hump, do the Humpy Hump White people, do the Humpy Hump, do the Humpy Hump Puerto Ricans, do the Humpy Hump, just keep on doin' the hump Samoans, do the Humpy Hump, do the Humpy Hump

I'd make a bronze of it in the same state it was in for his x-mas cover shoot with Chocolate Santa.

I would use it as an insertion point for gavage - through which I would force feed him nearly fatal amounts of corn mash for roughly two weeks to fatten his liver for human foie gras (I don't eat the duck or goose kind, it's so.... inhumane) and of course, I'd enjoy it with some fava beans, and a nice Chianti.

I would wear his face like a mask while I do my kooky-dance

No, no, no. You don't do anything to the face. The face is perfect as is. What I'd do is drag him down to my basement, and brake his leg. Then, I'd give him a cane and a snazzy jacket, and force him to be a full time House impersonator. Every night, I'd stumble down the stairs, faking a new illness. Humpy would have to diagnose the illness, while making with the wit. Anything less entertaining then last season's realityshow arc, and Humpy would get the hose. Humpy does not want to see the hose.

Congratulations to GRAHAM and KYLE for winning three tickets each to tonight's Sportsfight event! Check your email, guys, for info on how to pick them up by 5 pm today! Have fun tonight, and don't forget your blood lust!

Oh… and while the contest may be over, feel free to keep describing what you'd like to do to my face.