Comments

1
It's effect, you putz, not affect. As in: You affect the air of the air of someone trying to write beyond a third grade level.

It's bad enough that your commentary is sophmoric and your knowledge of food and beverage nil, but the fact that you can't even construct a sentence makes puzzled as to why the Mercury hired you.
2
Thanks for the insight Suds Sister! I have changed the error. Keep on reading. :)

Hugs/kisses
3
Perhaps you can help me, Pat. I'm trying to remember how one spells the word "unnecessarily hostile." As in "that post by Suds Sister was unnecessarily hostile..."

SS: You know I love nothing more than a letter to the editor asking why the hell I was hired in the first place. But I believe some of the writers here may still have what I believe are called "feelings," and not this hollow core of a being that was once called an "uncommented-upon soul." So be nice, please. Or you'll turn Patrick into a bastard just like me. And I don't see why two of us need to go through that particular learning curve...
4
"Unnecessarily hostile" is two words, not one! Such a travesty of journalism is unforgivable!
5
Wm: Despite the hostile tone of SS, "You affect the air of the air of someone trying to write beyond a third grade level" is actually a complement. I mean, like most of us commenters, I imagine SS is also trying to affect such an air. Why would we be trying to write below a third grade level? We wouldn't. So the goal, even if not specified, is nearly always implicit. Now, if SS noted that Patrick was trying and also failing, now that would be an insult.

am i rite?
6
Also, "the air of the air"? Someone should definitely make fun of that.
7
Who says we don't have enough time in the day? Not only do we have enough time to read about what someone drank on the weekend, but we have the time to correct their grammar and share our opinion on their writing. We are so lime its a wonder why the Mercury allows us to post comments.
8
Writer's have feelings? Phaw.

Not the good ones, by Jove.

As for the hangover, I got drunk once in Tokyo and stayed sauced through Hong Kong all the way to Singapore. Had a hangover that lasted nearly a fortnight. (Two weeks to you Yanks.) Now, that was a hangover, chappie. A man's hangover.

Next!
9
P.S. Journalism in a parody and satire publication is most certainly a travesty though not unknown. I mentioned this to the home office in Llandreden, Wales, and the eyes rolled so hard that the clicks could be heard for a mile. Except for Wilburforce. His eyes got stuck in the up position, so we had to bring him in for an instrument landing -- popped him a good one on the medulla oblongata and the hydralics started right back up, brought his baby blues right back into position and locked.

I say, where was I? I remember,

Next!
10
Way to rally the troops!

I know, I know, it's just mean to comment on grammar. Really it's the content, or lack thereof, that annoys me. And I must be cranky after too many cocktails at Teardrop last night, and this latest inane entry of Patrick's was just the straw that broke the camel's back.

I wonder what his qualifications are, though? I have been reading what he has written since he came aboard the Mercury and it's just not good. He seems to have a very limited background in food and drink, and his talents as a writer a limited as well.

I know it's harsh, but the Mercury is now getting its footing and has a amassed a nice roster of talented people (yes I am talking about you, Matt, Amy, Ezra and Erik). Patrick Coleman just brings the whole enterprise down.

I don't want to say that I sit around and talk with my friends about how bad the new food writer is, but I do. The majority of the posters on the local food boards have more talent, wit and background than this writer.

It is mean to ask the question, and I am sorry for that. But now that I have I'd like an answer. Just why did you hire Patrick Coleman?
11
Thanks for the insight Suds Sister! Keep on reading. :)

hugs/kisses
12
"I know it's harsh, but the Mercury is now getting its footing and has a amassed a nice roster of talented people (yes I am talking about you, Matt, Amy, Ezra and Erik). Patrick Coleman just brings the whole enterprise down."

I ain't biting. You were just mean. People have said the exact same thing about my work, "I like x and y and z, but I hate Matt."

That's just mean. Also I'm off my meds today. Did I mention that? It means I have all sorts of fun "feelings." Feelings are fun. Especially when you have no idea what's gonna happen next.
13
Oh, whoops. I meant to direct my comment above to you, Matt, and not to Wm. I guess I just assumed that a comment talking about feelings and defending another writer was the work of, well, not you. I hope you weren't offended by that. And if you were, I hope you'll forgive me!

I think I'm going to retire from commenting. Not that, like, anyone cares.
14
Oh THIS is Horse Shit! Here I show up to read another insatllment about my favorite drink and then "Miss no one ever asks me to write about food and drink and now I'm just a fat jealous orange blob with two beers too many so now I'm going to spout off about how much YOU suck" comes in to ruin everything! Oh, was that mean? Was my grammar lacking? HORSE SHIT! Get on with the drinking and get over yourself.
15
"That's just mean. Also I'm off my meds today."

Matt, perhaps you should take responsibility for your own mental state and not request that you be coddled by the public when you're deciding to fuck with your neurochemistry. I seem to recall that you were also "off your meds" when you decided to threaten me with both legal sanction and bodily injury last month. Lulz...

Anyway, both you and Patrick can always have your feeling spared by not posting in a public forum. Like I've told you before, perhaps you're not cut out to be a writer.

You may find some of the comments from readers to be snipe-y, but I understand the urge to call-out a consistently shitty writer on something as small as grammar. Patrick is a writer, supposedly a professional with the English language, and when he proves regularly to be ignorant when it comes to cuisine (umami definition, etc) AND unable to string together a grammatically correct sentence, I can see why suds sister and other question the Mercury for even employing him.

Also, Matt: In the name of open dialogue, I think you've totally raised your game since a few months back when you had some fairly hostile critics on blogtown (me included). Do you wish that we'd handled you with kid-gloves and pretended that your writing pleased us when it didn't?
16
[has figured out who A cat is...]
17
Matt, drop me an email, you know that address. If you've actually figured out who I am I'll willingly exile myself from blogtown forever.
18
Last time I did that mate, you cut and pasted it, and sent it to my boss. Everybody loves you, kitty. Just remember that, every day when you go about your business.
19
Sorry to dredge up this completely inane discussion but I must disagree with Suds Sister; as a regular reader of the Food Blogs, I have noticed that the posters' grammar is some of THE WORST I have ever seen. My grammar and spelling is above fucking reproach so I am a good judge.
Patrick is a fun read, and I just wish everyone would quit being so goddamn serious. All the time.
20
All of this, just over a post about Bloody Marys? Don't you people have anything better to do? End world hunger? Adopt a kitten? Say something nice to a homeless person?

Oh, and I already did all that today, so I'm allowed to post this now!
21
I understood four words in this thread.

FOUR WORDS.
22
Ah yes, the good old "I know who you are but won't say, you should be scurred!". You're a real class act, Matt... I'll be sure to "watch my back" or whatever.
23
P.S. Autumn- I'm not sure where everyone was being so "goddamn serious". I, for one, do it for the lulz. I suspect the same is true for most other posters.

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