I'd shitcan The Count and outsource all finance to Fraggle Rock. I hear they're on the verge of a boom but the labor is still relatively cheap. Plus, it's a tax haven so you could incorporate there.
You can't fire Bert or Ernie, because you know Bert will just get pissed off and file a discrimination suit.
Big Bird is the one that really need to get canned. He has no specialized skills, and he spends half his time sitting on his ass, in that little nest of his.
But Big Bird is a big drag queen so you risk a discrimination suit there too. Oscar lives like he's homeless anyway so he'd be my second choice. Plus, he's like a crotchety old Republican and they're no fun.
No shit! I'm with Alison on this one. Just because he doesn't "technically" exist (being Big Birds imaginary friend and all), that doesn't mean you can just fire him. You know what? You can't fire what you can't see, bitches!
Do any of you Merc staffers actually know anything about Sesame Street? Snuffleupagus is not Big Bird's imaginary friend. Snuffleupagus has always been real. He just had an incredible talent for disappearing at inopportune moments for Big Bird. But since at least 1985 (that was 22 years ago dumb asses), everyone has known that he is real. GOD DAMN IT PEOPLE KNOW YOUR CRAP BEFORE YOU POST ANYTHING.... FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
What? They told me today that Snuffy was imaginary, which was effin' news to me, and then mocked me for not knowing that already. ("They" is Courtney.)
Snuffy is real, as has already been pointed out. Also, I'm jumping on the Cookie/Veggie Monster bandwagon since he's a shadow of his former self. One would be justified in going Chief Broom on his ass.
It's hard to let Cookie Monster go though. For breakfast this morning I had cookies and a porter. I wistfully thought of how both Cookie Monster and Sam Adams (of the Revolutionary War) would be proud of such a feast. Now I'm reminded that the latter is dead and the former sold out.
I have to agree with Rick Warren here: Telly is a sad sack. I would fire him, cause i don't even think he'd notice, he's so depressed all the time anyway.
Also, what of Guy Smiley? Is he still on the show?
After being laid off Cokie Monster turns to a life of drugs. He starts pimping the pig out to support his habit. Bert & Ernie ended up in rehab to come out to a new job on True TV co hosting Americas Dumbest Crimes!
Snuffy will eat anything after a few toots up he trunk.
Kermit isn't even on Sesame Street anymore. Do some research next time.
She was a fat lazy bitch.
But I'm with DeepCerulean - cookie monster has had one job, and he can't even do it right anymore. Lose him.
Big Bird is the one that really need to get canned. He has no specialized skills, and he spends half his time sitting on his ass, in that little nest of his.
DUDE IS PATHETIC AS FUCK!
HE IS THE MORAL CENTER OF THE STREET CALLED SESAME.
Fire Snuffy, fire THE WORLD.
It's hard to let Cookie Monster go though. For breakfast this morning I had cookies and a porter. I wistfully thought of how both Cookie Monster and Sam Adams (of the Revolutionary War) would be proud of such a feast. Now I'm reminded that the latter is dead and the former sold out.
Also, what of Guy Smiley? Is he still on the show?