Good Morning News was really just fine without the "Matt and Sarah are going a great job, despite what the readers think!" cheerleading. Maybe just get them some therapy if you need to keep their spirits up.

Word. If they can dish it out they better be able to take it. Right in the Keister!!!
Also Humpy - you completely missed the real story about Texass seceding.
Chuck Norris will be their El Presidente.

Maybe write something of worth, and I'll compliment you guys.

YA BURNT!!

"Should Texas secede from the United States? Umm… does a jackalope poop in the woods?"

No a jackalope poops on the range. Even though I don't like Texas (Corpus Christi is okay). Texas should not even try to secede. Remember what happened last time the south rose up?