"I’m not a big breakfast eater. The closest I usually come to the “most important meal” is whatever booze and juice combo I happen to be using to beat back the vengeful screaming remnants of the previous night’s drunk. Then, after a toe curling cup of strong coffee and a few aspirin, I may feel robust enough to poke at a plate of biscuits and gravy. I suppose by definition you can call that breakfast, since I’m essentially breaking my fast, but it seems somehow disingenuous considering the above scenario generally takes place well after noon. It’s more self-medicating than breakfast."

Alcoholism is cool, man. You looking for groupies?