I'd give it up for a food pill that makes it so that I don't have to use up more of my awesome life seeking out and then chewing food. A jar of the pills!
What an interesting article, Patrick! Thanks for pointing it out. But it's not the cookies that made him snitch - it's the cookies AS SYMBOLS of humanizing respect. So what food could make me realize someone is a highly respectable human? Oh man, definitely a perfectly made pie. Or 100% fantastic scrambled eggs. I can never get either of those two right.
Man, I don't know what'd make me crack. I think there are rules against it, but a perfectly poured Youngs Double Chocolate Stout, water condensing on the outside of the glass - I might crack.
Or a box of Chicken in a Biskit.