I think Portland ought to have a Danger Duck. Or a Mean Mole. Yeah! A group of big mean moles that you have to bonk on their heads when they pop up out of their holes or they get mean and as soon as you bop one on the head, another one pops up from another hole, giggling and snickering at you, making fun...sometimes two heads pop up out of two holes that are far apart and then they cackle with insane glee knowing you can't bop both of them and it just drives you so craz-

Ahem. Sorry, got a little carried away there.

We already have something like that.

His name is Randy Leonard and he'll fucking rip your fucking throat out with his teeth.

I was thinking of something like a mildly retarded otter.

Or maybe an angry, yet kind-hearted, furble.

I have to second the nomination for a racoon. We have some really weird, and not a in a good way, racoons. They may well be zombie racoons. They come out during the day, even though everyone knows racoons are nocturnal. They lumber, they don't scamper. They look like they are decaying, no luster to their coats. When they look at you, you can feel the frost grow down your spine.

I give you Zombie Coon.

God damn! That bird looks like he wants to fuck me up!

Thanks for sharing last week's news. We expect that from the Oregonian, but not from the Merc. Or maybe that's just how it is in San Francisco. Please try to keep up.

But I linked to the posts from last week's news. I BROKE THE NEWS THAT THIS WAS LAST WEEK'S NEWS.

I'm like Woodward AND Bernstein. Both. Only more important.

What's Jim Francesconi doing these days?

Only kidding. He spoke at my commencement last weekend.

And I mean, he wasn't the commencement speaker (Dave Frohnmayer was...and he was excellent), but he did speak. There.

Doug Bates was pretty cool at the journalism degree ceremony, though. Ask him about Gerbalism.

Psycho Furby's running on solar power.

I've read that there are falcons that swoop down from the condo towers to eat the fish at Tanner Springs Park. I guess they don't attack people, they are only after sushi.

I wish swoops had been there when I lived a few blocks away. I would have loved to watch that bird trying to drive suits away all day. Then I would have gone down to Escape to NY on Montgomery and Bush for a goddamn slice of that potato pesto garlic shit.

What about all the mini-dogs in the Pearl? I'm sure one of those deranged beasts is liable to get off leash, go feral, and terrorize roller bladers along waterfront any day now.

Ooohhh...@blazerlove we could call it Fangs. Fangs the attack teacup whatever!