Wait, I thought Portland was all bikes and food carts and ironic donuts?

but at least the city will provide him clean needles courtesy of the non-junkie taxpayer

What happened to keeping Portland quirky? What the incessant pointing-strange-things-out causes is a flattening of the peculiar. How bland can you become?

As a kid, I used to help my grandfather during the summers when he remodeled motels in LA. One of my jobs was removing the old mattresses and box springs from the rooms. Believe me, it was the exception to not find kits like this under the bed. Granted, it was LA, not Portland, but you can pretty much be assured this will be the norm at cheap motels here, too.

My uncle once got pricked on the fingertip by a needle that was tucked under the edge of the carpet in a room when he was ripping it out to replace it. We had to take him immediately to get tested and were all relieved when the tests came back negative. What a horrible week at work that was for him, though.

I learned about sex from the porn mags and shit-covered toilet paper holders I would have to remove from under those beds when I was 8 years old. Hmm, maybe that's why I'm still single.

Hawwwt.

Turns out "the most budget-conscious place" one can find - called the ThriftLodge no less - isn't that nice of a place.

This is news because...?

I've found needles in a few public places in Portland-- bus stops along Burnside and MLK / Grand, for instance.

But do I go looking for them? No. And for this same reason, I don't go flipping over motel mattresses. Especially if they're run-down horror show Econolodges!

Poke around most any hotel room and you'll find a roach trap, a blood stain or a condom wrapper. I'll remain willfully ignorant, mmmkay?

It's a cheap motel in a large city. WTF did he expect? If that's so shocking, I suggest he hide in the suburbs indefinitely.

If I were going to visit, say, Detroit for the first time, I'd probably use teh google before I left to find a nice place to stay during my visit.

How about a story on yet another uptight pussy moving to Portland and expressing shock that not everything here has been sterilized for the consumption of the trendy and beautiful. Er...

It's hard to prick yourself with a capped needle.

Rest assured - it's quirky local, sustainable, vegan heroin that's being shot down there in LoBu...