Go back to New Jersey, east coast d-bag. The Oregon coast is nothing like the Jersey shore, dipshit.

Sean, did you read through your post before hitting "post"? Your composition is all wrong, and not in a fun edgy way. I'll give you benefit of the doubt and assume you were posting drunk, but please establish some goodwill around here before you start doing this all the time.

Also: Welcome. This is a fun place.

As someone that grew up on the coast, please do go to the coast this weekend. Coasties need the money now more than ever.

Granted they're more "coast" than beach, and granted the local kids will sit on cliffs and laugh at people that run in to the ocean, realize it's more like Alaskan water than Mexican water, and run back to the windy sand for warmth; but there are other fun things to do there anyway.

I'm going to stay home and organize my collection of plastic bottle caps. And I'm going to cherish them.

Why does the Mercury hate Portland? Hire some locals once in a while, huh?

He doesn't hate Portland. He hates tourists. Please pay attention.

Lulu asked not why Sean hates Portland, but why the Mercury hates Portland, implying that by hiring an intern from the east coast, the Mercury is displaying a distaste for the denizens of Portland, and by extension, a hatred of the city itself.

Please pay attention.

Exactly. Though the "hating Portland" part was meant somewhat facetiously, it does seem like they hire a lot of newcomers who have little familiarity with the region, its history and its values.

By only hiring "locals" Portland will never be looked at objectively. That kind of insular thinking smacks of xenophobia.

"Never be looked at objectively?" Um, okay.

Portland isn't exactly looked at "objectively" by the "I moved here 'cuz it was the trendy thing to do" crowd.
Anybody with any real working familiarity with this place would realize that opinions held by locals regarding this town are many and varied, a far cry from the insular and xenophobic cries we hear from people too lazy to actually get to know this place before they decide to tell us all that Portland has no history of its own worth getting familiar with.

Lighten up folks! The new-kid-on-the-block merely asked about your beaches.
Where are YOUR positive suggestions?

Why don't you WORK? You did just get hired; did you mistakenly think you work for the State of Oregon?