From the above encounter, I can already tell you have Bank of America. Bunch of a-holes there.

That could have been a George Carlin bit. In fact, he even kind of sounds like him.

Why are you at a bank ?

Move to a local savings and loan. I did and when I closed the account at Chase they offered me $100 not to.

Hell the savings and loans ussually let you ride on a few mistakes a year.

Plus money staying local has a 5 time multiplier.

Bank of America is a stupid choice for a bank unless you want to pay for convenience of ATMs with the distinct possibility of being raped randomly by bankers over the phone, online and sometimes in person.