Prawn cheese spreadāor rƤkostāis one of my favorite Swedish food novelties. Walk into any Swedish supermarket, in fact, and you'll find an entire aisle full of things in tubes. Bacon cheese, pesto cheese, cheese cheese. Then there's the caviar in tubes, made to be squirted out in zigzags atop your open-face breakfast sandwich. And garlic-flavored mayonnaise tubes with little star openings that make your mayo squirts into lithesome florets. The tube-foods of Sweden are delightful, and they're begging for a squeeze. VarsĆ„god!
IKEA certinaly takes some patience. We visited three times, over 12 months, before we could actually bring ourselves to buy anything. We felt the same awful "I really hope I don't belong here" pangs. The way the store is laid out doesn't do it any favors - walking through on the forced path reminds one of the conveyor line at an abattoir.
Now, however, we've got a a nice faux-Persian rug for the living room that was only $60 or something like that.
Learning the shortcuts through the maze helps. Also the giant fan with the 10 foot blades in the furniture self-serve area makes me wish I had some of that fizzy soda from Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory.
a) Build furniture out of egg crates and salvaged boards your whole life;
b) Hunt around 2nd-hand stores for a collection of passable, but completely mis-matched used furniture that looks like its from the 2nd-hand store;
c) Go to a real furniture store and spend $400 for an end table;
d) See what "designer" items they have at Fred Meyer; or
e) Go to IKEA.
SM,
You are not a failure- capitalism has failed you!
I must say, I truly enjoy the irony of the step by step directions you wrote this in:
Reminds me of that computer desk I bought, took 3 weeks to assemble, lasted 1 year, and then no one would take for free on Craig's list. Lesson-should have thrown in free prawn cheese spread to sweeten the deal///or when someone called I'd simply answer the phone saying "JAMBA".
My friend Dave went into the Peace Corps in the late 90's to Tanzania. He came back with was the ability to speak Swahili decently. With this newfound knowledge, he clued me into the fact the "Jamba" in Swahili means "fart". He got into an email argument with the aforementioned Juice company over the word about 10 years ago. Seems he wasn't alone:
It is a nice place for old folks to walk a few miles when it is raining. There is even a place in the middle of maze to sit down and drink coffee. If you need anything from IKEA it will be cheaper and assembled on Craigslist or on the curb near apartments the last week of the month.
For a Portland alternative, try City Liquidators. They've been under the Morrison bridge for 32 years, family owned. If you haven't been there it's ridiculous - just a huge rambling series of warehouses of furniture. It goes on forever - the rooms just get dustier and less visited until you run out of food. Great prices, too!
They all look like nice people, but Grandpa sure looks befuddled in that picture. And who invited the Secretary of State? How does the blonde fox fit with the rest of this crew? Was that guy in the Goonies? And why does the little rebel daughter look like the JUST got done making out?
Also, I bet that guy has at least one pair of Oakleys.
Holy Crap! Three comments in a row, but I promise I'm not wasting your time!
Here's a picture of the City Liquidators founder, with Blagojevich hair, creeper moustache, sitting in the Basic Instinct pose with CLEARLY visible camel toe. Sitting next to a $9 bomb? WTH? http://www.cityliquidators.com/images/arch…
My fiance now has his black-belt in IKEA after assembling an entire kitchen cabinet set for a friend and a loft bed for his daughter. It is a necessary evil sometimes, but I do love the meatballs!
Now, however, we've got a a nice faux-Persian rug for the living room that was only $60 or something like that.
It really ties the room together.
JOIN US IN MEDIOCRITY.
I also think they put drugs in the jam. So... jammy.
a) Build furniture out of egg crates and salvaged boards your whole life;
b) Hunt around 2nd-hand stores for a collection of passable, but completely mis-matched used furniture that looks like its from the 2nd-hand store;
c) Go to a real furniture store and spend $400 for an end table;
d) See what "designer" items they have at Fred Meyer; or
e) Go to IKEA.
It's a necessary evil.
You are not a failure- capitalism has failed you!
I must say, I truly enjoy the irony of the step by step directions you wrote this in:
Reminds me of that computer desk I bought, took 3 weeks to assemble, lasted 1 year, and then no one would take for free on Craig's list. Lesson-should have thrown in free prawn cheese spread to sweeten the deal///or when someone called I'd simply answer the phone saying "JAMBA".
http://tinyurl.com/jambajamba
Fart Juice, now you know.
They all look like nice people, but Grandpa sure looks befuddled in that picture. And who invited the Secretary of State? How does the blonde fox fit with the rest of this crew? Was that guy in the Goonies? And why does the little rebel daughter look like the JUST got done making out?
Also, I bet that guy has at least one pair of Oakleys.
Here's a picture of the City Liquidators founder, with Blagojevich hair, creeper moustache, sitting in the Basic Instinct pose with CLEARLY visible camel toe. Sitting next to a $9 bomb? WTH?
http://www.cityliquidators.com/images/arch…
Excellent call on City Liquidators. Forgot about them.