Blogs Aug 26, 2010 at 4:07 pm

The Littlest I, Anonymous Writer

Marjorie Skinner
Back to article

Comments

1
AWwww...poor kid. I hope that asshole crashes on that stolen bike.
xiolableu on August 26, 2010 at 4:28 PM Report this
2
i got 5 on a replacement
miguelaron on August 26, 2010 at 4:29 PM Report this
3
Yeah, really. Should we set up a PayPal account?
Alison Hallett on August 26, 2010 at 4:32 PM Report this
4
Bike theft sucks.
($8239f8h248cerfehjf23@&*@ebdjhb23f237OCDBO#BD*(# on August 26, 2010 at 4:35 PM Report this
5
Seriously.... Mercury setup a paypal account and let's get this kid a new black cruiser.
Jay Kay on August 26, 2010 at 4:36 PM Report this
6
Stealing a child's bike is highly pathetic. I hope this guy gets torn apart by rabid unicorns who then set him on fire, thereby causing him to painfully explode in a cloud of guilt and giblets.
Joe Streckert on August 26, 2010 at 4:38 PM Report this
7
Sure, let's all throw a few bucks in for a new bike and a decent lock. Show those beeps over at the Willamette Weak that Portland is full of good people, despite what they would like you to believe.
dark on August 26, 2010 at 4:45 PM Report this
8
I would donate, but if the submission is anonymous, how will you track down the kid to deliver the new bike?
pork chop on August 26, 2010 at 4:47 PM Report this
9
The Decemberists ought to have a benefit concert to raise $$ for a new bike. Or take a collection at MFNW.
pajamacore on August 26, 2010 at 4:48 PM Report this
10
Kid did the drawing; Mom wrote the letter.
Spine on August 26, 2010 at 4:50 PM Report this
11
I call shenanigans. This wasn't written by a 6th grader.
Your Local NoPo 6th Grader on August 26, 2010 at 4:52 PM Report this
12
It sure would be a lot harder to steal a bike without thumbs. Just sayin'.
Beer Batter on August 26, 2010 at 4:53 PM Report this
13
*clapping and making circus seal noises for all of the geniuses who figured out that mom wrote this* Back to your think tanks!
dark on August 26, 2010 at 4:54 PM Report this
14
That is the most awesome bunny I've ever seen. Look how happy he is! Listening to music? High on life? I don't know, but I want to hang his picture by my desk.
Sara on August 26, 2010 at 4:55 PM Report this
15
I'll put a 20 on it. Email me@ anothershotofwhiskeyinhell@gmail.com
drunkle on August 26, 2010 at 4:57 PM Report this
16
The envelope has a return address but no other contact info--I'll write 'em back and see if they are cool with us taking up a collection. Snail mail! I'll update next week.
Alison Hallett on August 26, 2010 at 5:03 PM Report this
17
6th grade and grammar that bad? This country is fucked.
rufus92 on August 26, 2010 at 5:26 PM Report this
18
I got some on it too. Paypal to the rescue! And seriously? No, I do not think any one of us can come up with a better insult. I won't even beat my brain down trying.
Fat&Sassy on August 26, 2010 at 5:41 PM Report this
19
GOOD THING THIS ARRIVED AFTER WSH LEFT FOR VACATION....I'M JUST SAYING...

ALSO DON'T SEND MONEY, A.H PROBABLY WROTE THE LETTER TO FINANCE HER CRACK & MALE PROSTITUTES HABIT (I MEAN, SHE'S THE ONLY ONE WITH ACCESS TO THE ALLEGED LETTER AND SHE'S ALSO THE ONE COLLECTING THE MONEY? SCAM-ANIGANS !)
Evil Wm. Steven Humphrey on August 26, 2010 at 6:01 PM Report this
20
Yea right! This kid needs a few lessons in how to properly use the english language and not spew profanities. And he means to say he only got one gift? His mother couldn't buy him a little something? It looks like this kid needs a bit more than a bike; like a bit of an education.
Beunosaires09 on August 26, 2010 at 6:43 PM Report this
21
The quality of that letter is on par with most of the Mercury's content. I say hire her.
Andy Mesa on August 26, 2010 at 6:45 PM Report this
22
Ya, kids are stupid. They ALL grow up to be big babies.
Raptured Randy Savage on August 26, 2010 at 7:03 PM Report this
23
I'd gladly send this kid a few "death to bike thieves" stickers to sport on her new ride, too.
bhance on August 27, 2010 at 8:25 AM Report this
24
I don't necessarily think just because *we* could not have written this letter in 6th grade doesn't mean it wasn't. Sign me up for the fund. :)
pdxnelson on August 27, 2010 at 10:00 AM Report this
25
Just because *we* could not have written this letter as a 6th grader doesn't mean it wasn't. Sign me up for the fund. :)
pdxnelson on August 27, 2010 at 10:01 AM Report this
26
Mom helped with the letter.

And agreed on the bunny.
doug_in_pdx on August 28, 2010 at 9:35 AM Report this

Please wait...

Comments are closed.

Commenting on this item is available only to members of the site. You can sign in here or create an account here.


Add a comment
Preview
Posted by (your name here)

By posting this comment, you are agreeing to our Terms of Use.

Editors' Picks

Horrifyingly Fun Trivia About Cursed Amusement Parks, Scary Election Candidates, and Other Homicidal Maniacs
Public Opposition to Gunshot Detection Program Convinces City To Reverse Course
Say Nice Things About Portland: A Manifesto
THE TRASH REPORT: Strikes, Strikes, Channing Tatum, and Strikes!
POP QUIZ PDX: Sassy Ass Trivia About Nike Scandals, More Nike Scandals, and... WOW, So Many Nike Scandals!
Get Ready! The Mercury's SANDWICH WEEK Arrives This Monday, June 5! 🥪
Portland Mercury
is a proud member of the media network
Masthead Ad Info & Rates Jobs at Portland Mercury Contact Privacy Policy Terms of Use Takedown Policy
Support Portland Mercury
All contents © Index Newspapers LLC
PO Box 86208, Portland, OR 97286