GOOD MORNING!

I THINK WE SHOULD COMBINE THIS MORNING'S NEWS STORIES. I'M GOING WITH
"TEA PARTY CANDIDATE IS BRANDED WITH THE WORD 'UTERUS' AND THROWN DOWN A SINKHOLE".

i remember when i worked at mcdonalds in long beach, wa in 9th grade and a redneck asked me, "what kinda pepsi y'all's got?"

GOOD MORNING, WSH, STU, BO!

"MAYOR ADAMS TO HOST ANTI-AMERICAN IDOL PROTESTS ON THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN"

GOOD MORNING, STEVE! GOOD MORNING, STU! GOOD MORNING, BP BAGGINS! GOOD MORNING, TK.!

PROTIP CONFIDENTIAL TO BP BAGGINS: CAPS LOCK OR GTFO!!!

CARBINATED BEVERAGES SHOULD BE REFERRED TO AS SODA. OTHERWISE YOU SOUND LIKE A FUCKING DOUCHEBAG!!

WE'RE GONNA THINK THESE TEABAGGERS WINNING PRIMARIES ARE FUNNY UNTIL THEY WIN THE GENERALS IN NOVEMBER AND THEN WE'RE ALL GONNA HAVE TO PUT OUR HEADS BETWEEN OUR KNEES AND TAKE DEEP BREATHS AND TRY AND CALM DOWN.

"J LO SHOT BY UNARMED MAYOR ADAMS, ANTI-AMERICAN TEA PARTY BEATS SMALL PLANE WITH MOSES COCK. SHOWERY AND HUMID OVER THE NEXT THREE DAYS, WITH COPS POP SODA GAGA TWITTER HIPPO."

I tought in portland a soft drink was PBR.

GOOD MORNING. I'M MASTURBATING IN HONOR OF CHRISTINE O'DONNELL'S PRIMARY WIN. LIKE GRAHAM SAID, IT'S GONNA BE REALLY HILARIOUS (OR REALLY SAD) COME NOVEMBER.

I THOUGHT ALL CARBONATED SUGAR WATER WAS CALLED "POP".

RE-BRANDING SODA/POP FOR THE YUPPIES: Car.Bev.

You can mock West Linn all you want Humphrey. Just as long as you know the consequences for when you ride your hippie bike down highway43 through West Linn.

GOOD MORNING EVERYONE! STEVE DO NOT MAKE FUN OF MY BELOVED TWITTER - IT IS MY ONLY REAL FRIEND.

@KIALA: THAT IS NOT TRUE. YOU'VE GOT YOUR FURBLES!!! THEY'RE YOUR ONLY REAL FRIENDS!

GOOD MORNING ALL. I ALWAYS TELL PEOPLE THAT IN TEXAS EVERYONE JUST CALLS IT ALL COKE AND THEN THEY ASK YOU WHAT KIND YOU WANT. NOBODY EVER BELIEVES ME. THANK YOU FOR THE PROOF I'VE NEEDED FOR YEARS.

FUCK YOU Graham, it's called POP!!!!! Soda is the shit that keeps your refrigerator fresh, or the secret ingredient in a paper mache volcano.

GOOD MORNING EVERYBODY! REMEMBER WHEN DAN SAVAGE ENCOURAGED PEOPLE TO VOTE FOR GEORGE W. BUSH IN THE PRIMARIES BECAUSE HE COULDN'T POSSIBLY WIN A GENERAL ELECTION? WELL, HE DIDN'T, BUT HE STILL TOOK OFFICE! THAT WAS FUN, WASN'T IT? (I'M SCARED OF TEABAGGERS...)

ALSO, IN MY PARTICULARLY INBRED CORNER OF THE SOUTH, PEOPLE CALLED THE DRINK A "CO-COLER". YEP.

How can Portland be blue in that map? I've had many Portlanders "correct" me when I refer to a soft drink as "pop."

were Matt Davis still around, he'd inform folks that in England, brand names often become the generic term for things. vaccums are hoovers; pens are biros; evil blood-sucking people-hating politicians are thatchers. i don't know if "plimsoll" is a brand (or even correct spelling) but it's how they say "sneaker" (or did in the late 70s). and given the Souths historic ties to England (their buddies during the Civil War), this bit of Anglophilia isn't too surprising. but it would probably piss a lot of them off. a very good thing.

GOOD MORNING GUISE. I AM GLAD REID IS LISTENING TO LADY GAGA. POP MUSIC IS UNDERRATED IN THIS COUNTRY, AND OUR POLITICIANS CAN HELP SET A GOOD EXAMPLE.

@TABARNHART: THAT PRACTICE ISN'T EXCLUSIVE TO THE UK; WITNESS THE COMMON USAGE OF "KLEENEX" FOR FACIAL TISSUE, "XEROX" FOR COPY MACHINES, "NINTENDO" FOR VIDEO GAME CONSOLES, ETC ETC.

@FRUIT CUP: POP MUSIC IS UNDERRATED SINCE WHEN? LADY GAGA IS UNDERRATED?

DMITRIR: THOSE "PORTLANDERS" THAT CORRECTED YOU ARE COMMONLY KNOWN AS "CALIFORNIANS THAT MOVED TO PORTLAND," OR IN MY PREFERRED PARLANCE, "HORRIBLE YUPPIES."

SASQUATCHMAN: YOUR CAPS-LOCK SEEMS TO BE ON THE FRITZ. TABARNHART, DID THAT TERM COME FROM AMANDA?

I AM JUST BULLSHITTING BLOGTOWN BECAUSE I WANTED TO SAY REID WAS LISTENING TO GAGA AS MUSIC, RATHER THAN AS POLITICAL ADVICE. EVERYTHING ELSE IN MY STATEMENT IS WINDOW DRESSING.