DAMN! That's some good pulp. I would read that magazine.

Oh and the story is obviously that these guys were on an expedition to save polar bears from the melting ice caps on the north pole, but then shit started exploding and the noise scared the bears and then they attacked their saviors.

It seems obvious to me that these are liberal communist nanny-state bears who are terroristically attacking a peaceful NRA picnic/church social. Why do the bears hate Liberty?

What the artist fails to render, is that these are actually zombie polar bears. A piece of the international space station falls to Earth, bringing a deadly new contagion that re-animates dead flesh. These polar bears had recently died of starvation and the explorers are the expedition sent from a consortium of NATO countries to bring back the space station. No human survives the encounter with super powerful zombie polar bears, and the undead begin a march from the frozen North and overtake mankind.

"Hold fast men" Deacon said, scanning the horizon with his wintry eyes, "No sign of the exploding boats yet, but I'd stake my career as an exploding boat hunter they won't be able to resist this artfully composed tableaux of hunters being attacked by polar bears."

The furry con, for some reason, had been double-booked with the gun show. Tempers rose. Muzzles flared. Teeth were gnashed. At the end of it all, only the smells of blood and gunpowder remained in the air.

A coalition of RNC members, leftist Dems and people to whom she owes money hired a team of ex-CIA assassins to take out Sarah Palin. They didn't count on her trained team of vicious polar bears.

Though several members of the assassin team were chewed to pieces, the agents were able, at length, to communicate their intentions to the bears. Coco, Fuzzy and Steven the bear threw off their metaphorical shackles and teamed up with the ex-CIA agents against their cruel mistress, Palin. They bit her arms off.

Holy fuck! Whatever we paid this guy for that art, it wasn't enough. He should charge people in souls and eyeballs for work like this.

This image is why the word "bitchin'" was invented.