Your irony attempts are now verging on sincerity. Be aware, you're veering towards earnestness. From that, no return.

We did miss that item in this morning's GMN! because we were all giddy with the excitement at the news that Zooey and Ben are breaking up. Every hipster's dream girl is back on the market!!!!!!

Bieber believers belabor base baby bulletin, Bieber rebuffs blame for backstage banging.

FC FTW.