How dare you, sir? Newt Gingrich only cheated on his wives because he loves this country so much!

His sister says she got a wedding gift from him. Her conspiracy theory is that (surprise, surprise) he doesn't believe any of the shit he says. He just wants to get elected.

It's like when I was unemployed and had to stand there in the mirror before an interview convincing myself that I was committed to the Radio Shack lifestyle and wanted to serve the people of this great country by making sure they never have to use separate remotes for different appliances again.