Oh christ, that Carrie Brownstein lifestyle piece reads a lot like The Awl's "Most Emailed New York Times Article Ever", except much more long winded.

http://www.theawl.com/2011/01/the-most-ema…

That's a lot of news, but I'll add to it, after apologizing in advance to the fine people of Lents for the stinky rinds of fancy cheeses that end up in our compost after my wife spends our paychecks at Pastaworks.

OK. Don't miss the Best of the (Police) Blotter for 2011 from the Lake Oswego Review. Fucking Chihuahuas.

http://www.lakeoswegoreview.com/news/story…

Also, Gary Johnson has dropped out of the Republican primaries to run as a Libertarian. He's the gay-friendliest candidate in the race:

http://www.ontopmag.com/article.aspx?id=10…

That Carrie Brownstein article is proof that hell exists, and we are living in it.

Also, we need more-interesting criminals here.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-20…

CARRIE BROWNSTEIN WILL DESTROY US ALL. AND FRED ARMISEN WILL WRITE OFFBEAT SKETCH COMEDY ABOUT IT.

That Carrie Brownstein fluff piece was overly precious. I got the sense that The New Yorker was trolling me with a rabbit hole of sincerity/irony/sincerity.