Woo! Let's spoiler it up!

Can anyone explain to me what Irene Adler said to Moriarty over the phone in the beginning? That whole cliffhanger resolution was poo.

@ATOMIC: I WILL NOW PROVIDE US ALL WITH AN ALMOST DEFINITIVE TIMELINE OF THAT EPISODE (I DIDN'T WRITE THIS, BUT I AM SHAMELESSLY COPY-PASTING IT FROM A DIFFERENT DISCUSSION SITE)

A terrorist cell plans to bomb an airplane. The American and British government both discover the plot, but they're faced with a dilemma. If they stop the bombing, they risk tipping off the terrorists that they've got an inside source on them. So they go to Mycroft Holmes, who solves what he calls "The Coventry Conundrum" by devising a plan to stage the plane bombing ("The flight of the dead"), so that the terrorists can go on thinking that America and England are not on to them, yet claim no real victim.

Unfortunately, a stupid Ministry of Defense employee hires Irene Adler for her services, and eager to impress her with his important job, shows her an email that he claims "will save the world." Unbeknownst to him, Adler snaps a picture of the email with her camera phone. She now has something that she knows is valuable, but she has no idea what because it looks like a code. She shows it to another client, who according to her is the world's best cryptographer, but even he can't crack it. Worse, the Americans have found out what she has and start to come after her, which tips Adler off that what she has is extremely valuable and also dangerous. At this point, Adler realizes that she's out of her depth and decides to consult the infamous Jim Moriarty.

Coincidentally, Moriarty is in the middle of a stand-off with Sherlock Holmes when Adler calls him for the first time. We hear Moriarty's side of the conversation, but we can guess Adler's side easily after knowing the full story. (Is this Moriarty?) "Yes, of course it is! What do you want?" (I've got something valuable from the government.) "SAY THAT AGAIN!" (She tells him the whole thing) "If you're lying to me, I will find you and I will skin you." Moriarty pauses, takes the phone off his ear, looks at the bomb, then at Sherlock. Moriarty has been trying to get Mycroft's attention and now senses an opportunity to use Sherlock to do just that, in the biggest way possible. "Wrong day to die," Moriarty tells Sherlock. "You've got a better offer?" Sherlock jokes. Indeed he did, actually. Moriarty then gets back on the phone and tells Adler that if she really has what she says she has, then he can help make her very rich.

Weeks pass as Moriarty and Adler bide their time for the right moment to spring their plan. Mycroft begins to collect corpses for his Flight of the Dead, while Sherlock becomes famous for Watson's blog. Seeing Sherlock in the papers, we see Adler calling Moriarty: "I think it's time, don't you think?" Sherlock is now famous enough to be called in to save the Royal Family, which is key to their plan. Moriarty gives her the green light and Adler notifies the British government that she has scandalous photos of a Royal Family member stored in her camera phone, but doesn't ask for a ransom. The unnamed Royal Family member, being a fan of Watson's blog, asks to hire Sherlock Holmes to retrieve the photos. Mycroft—still not aware that Adler has anything else—arranges Sherlock's recruitment, not realizing that this whole scandal business is merely a set-up.

Moriarty, who has Sherlock on surveillance, sends Adler photos of Sherlock at Buckingham Palace, letting her know to get ready for Sherlock's arrival. Sherlock arrives at Adler's house and, using a fire alarm, baits Adler into revealing the location of the camera phone, then correctly guesses that her measurements is the safe code. The Americans who are monitoring Adler's house eavesdrop on Sherlock figuring out where the camera phone is, and quickly rush in to retrieve it. With the Americans revealing their presence to Sherlock, Adler makes it seem like her life is in danger, to lure Sherlock into being the hero that saves the damsel in distress. Playing right into Moriarty's hands, Sherlock deduces that there's more to the camera phone than just sex photos.

Escaping with Sherlock's coat (and his phone in the coat pocket), Adler playfully changes her text message tone on his phone, takes down his phone number (and possibly Mycroft's to give to Moriarty), then breaks into Sherlock's room to return the coat and phone and to whisper to a sleeping Sherlock that she's figured out the Boomerang death case, which comes to Sherlock as a dream.

On Christmas, she sends the camera phone to Sherlock and fakes her own death, partly to test Sherlock, but also to get the Americans off her back. It works, and the Americans go after Sherlock instead. Using the cigarette test at the morgue, Mycroft and Watson confirm that Sherlock is actually affected by Adler's death. But Adler has fallen for Sherlock, too, so she lets him know she's still alive.

Months pass again with Adler letting Sherlock examine the camera phone, until Adler breaks into 221B and shows Sherlock the photo of the email, which Sherlock quickly deciphers as a specific flight—Mycroft's flight of the dead. Adler quickly texts Moriarty what Sherlock deduced, and Moriarty tells Mycroft that he knows about the flight.

This is the end of Moriarty's involvement. His goal from the beginning was not to help terrorists or anything like that, but to have his jollies by finally getting Mycroft's attention, which he has succeeded in a huge way by tipping off the terrorist cell and ruining years of espionage, AND putting the blame on Mycroft's little brother. Sherlock has unwittingly committed treason by helping Adler crack a Ministry of Defense code. "And I sent her your way. I'm sorry, I didn't know," Mycroft tells him. The Holmes brothers are now in big trouble (the American agent remarked to Sherlock that the government would probably give him a medal if he puts a bullet in Sherlock's head). Moriarty has won.

For Irene Adler, Moriarty's win means she can now get the big reward Moriarty promised her. Having proven her ability to ruin an intricate plan by two superpower governments, her camera phone is now WAAAY more valuable to hold for ransom, which is why she stuck out this long to see Moriarty's plan through instead of just cashing in the sex scandal photos. Mycroft can't do anything to Adler without incriminating Sherlock, so he agrees to her demands. Unfortunately for her, Sherlock guesses her passcode (by realizing that Adler did some extra unnecessary things in her plan because of her attraction to him) and destroys her leverage, and at the same time redeems himself in the eyes of the government from the damage that he's done.

Epilogue: Adler tells Sherlock that the main reason she wants to blackmail Mycroft is for protection from the various international enemies she has. "I won't last six months out there," she begs him. Sherlock pretends not to care, but later rescues her from a beheading so she can fake her death a second time—this time more thoroughly with his help, in order to fool even Mycroft.

Right, so in that case Moriarty never intended to kill Sherlock in the first place? So what was he going to do if some woman didn't call him at the exact right time? Just sort of... leave again?

If he DID intend to kill them, what could Irene Adler have said to convince him? How do you get from "I have a number from an email from a a guy in the government" to "only the world's greatest detective can figure this out, and also this is related to a massive espionage operation that you wouldn't know about or else you wouldn't NEED the flight number, you could just tell the terrorists."

And just as a final point, it's a neat trick that Sherlock can figure out almost instantly that a string of numbers is a flight number, and which flight in particular, but it's not clear why someone with a massive criminal network couldn't have gotten access to a ticketing computer through more conventional means in the moths ad months of plotting they spent trying to get Sherlock to do it.

@ATOMIC: I THINK MORIARTY WAS GOING TO KILL SHERLOCK. IF HIS GOAL IS TO GET AT MYCROFT, THEN KILLING SHERLOCK ISN'T THAT BAD OF AN IDEA.

BUT I NEED TO GET STARTED ON MY SHERLOCK HOLMES/AMADEUS CHO SLASHFIC.

I just liked that Sooki's fairy godmother got a bit nasty.

"Well I WAS going to shoot you and blow you up, but this lady called and she's got a picture of this email, and I GUESS I'll have to spin this elaborate plot to use the fame you don't have yet to embarrass your brother that I assume is involved."

FUCK YOUR SPOILERS BUT THIS SHOW IS GODDAMN EXCELLENT.

Overall, pretty damn good.
@Graham I don't believe in the c&p'd interpretation of the rescue of THE Woman. I somehow don't think Sherlock followed Irene to Karachi to save her, that it was only a Holmes-fantasy (or possibly Adler's, just as she's about to die). I imagine if he had, then the conversation in the deli between Watson and Mycroft would've been like:
"She was beheaded by a terrorist cell in Karachi."
"That's odd. Sherlock just got back from Pakistan."
"Really? I had no idea."
That is pretty unlikely.
Also, why would the CIA dude watching the jumbo jet let Irene on board? I know she's good at sneaking into and out of places, but a plane full of government-endorsed corpses just might be locked down pretty tight.