I moved away from my overly controlling mother finally when I was 38 (I'm 41) and it was the most liberating thing I did. I was only able to leave because I found a job out of the state..well country actually and she could not dispute the fact I had to go as much as it pained her.

I still send money when I can (and don't when I can). A person, regardles of gender, needs to have that time in life where they are their own person even when they are in love with you and committed to you. Encourage him to get his own apartment, let him settle in his own space. He needs to get that sense of self and grounded in his own person before he can move in with your and your kid.