Not "sodomizing," more like giving the TMNT a Rusty Trombone without their consent

Oh man, anyone else seen Anthony Lopez recently? He has a TMNT bit that's fucking hilarious.

Are there any toys from the 80's Micheal Bay won't make a movie out of?

YOU ARE SO WRONG ABOUT LEONARDO THAT IT PHYSICALLY PAINS ME TO EVEN THINK ABOUT THE FACT THAT YOU EXIST.

Why not just say that Peter Parker was the love child of Charlotte and some Amish dude?

The original TMNT comics of the mid-80s were already sodomized by the cartoon series and movies of the late 80s and early 90s, and the barrage of merchandising, food tie-ins, live concerts, etc. that those ushered in. A massive sell-out in the name of creative a multi-billion-dollar franchise, empty and watered down so that no one could possibly object to it, including removing the slightest trace of violence (they were created to be ninjas, who use weapons). Go ahead and figuratively sodomize it.

Yeah, sorry, but this is absolutely something to get worked up about.

What next? A Karate Kid movie where the kid doesn't do karate?

You cut off the part of the quote where Michael Bay says that, since times have changed, so have the characters.

Donatello is now going to be the smart/nerdy/arty/cool one.

Rapheal is going to love indie rock, ironic t-shirts and will be vegan.

Michaelangelo is going to be into Soccer and extreme sports.

Leonardo is a slick, modern turtle. He'll use his iPhone to organize the team!

1) Making the turtles aliens would be weird, but who gives a fuck.

2) Leonardo is clearly the best TMNT. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ywHHg5yxH04
(Put your own gracefully ass-kicking music on)

3) Erik and I's eerie convergence in childhood tastes continues in full force (as does Erik's restraining order against me, but I'm sure he sleeps comfortably in those purple flannel pajamas knowing that lasting friendship will always be just 501 feet away).

@CC: YOU ARE ALSO AN IDIOT. SAYING LEONARDO IS THE BEST TURTLE IS LIKE SAYING THAT CYCLOPS IS THE BEST ONE OF THE X-MEN. DONATELLO; FOR LIFE, YO!

REMEMBER THAT TIME THAT VANILLA ICE RAPPED IN ONE OF THE TMNT MOVIES? MICHAEL BAY CANNOT BE ANY WORSE THAN THAT.

EVERYTHING GRAHAM SAID, EXACTLY HOW HE SAID IT.

Um, just throwing this out there, but they should give Michael Bay's job to Joneser.

And then we can finally move forward on Boat Cop.

Joneser, there really is no reason you couldn't make those movie yourself. But you might want to film the bathtub scene when your roomies are out of the house.

Oh, and it's Donatello.

Plus, no one can ever say they didn't squeeze every last drop out of the original TMNT concept for your enjoyment. If they want to change things a bit now (for example, giving April O'Neil a more journalistically appropriate outfit --- maybe a leather bikini -- because what were they THINKING with that jumpsuit?), that's okay by me - I can always go watch the scary Turtle rubber suits again.

FACTOID: JIM HENSON DID THE ANIMITRONIC FACES FOR THE FIRST TMNT MOVIE. IT WAS HIS LAST PROJECT BEFORE HE DIED OF ACUTE RELIGIOUS INSPIRED FLU.

#8- They already did that. The Jackie Chan version featured kung-fu fighting, not karate