GOOD MORNING BLOGTOWN?! THE SUN IN THE SKY RUINED MY WEEKEND. I WANT TO INVENT A PILL THAT MAKES YOU NOT FEEL WEATHER. THAT WAY I WOULD ALWAYS FEEL LIKE IT WAS 68 DEGREES.

68 AND A LIGHT BREEZE -- I'M WITH YOU, CUP. MY RAY-BANS ARE WEARING RAY-BANS.

ALSO, THE FIRST BIT OF SUNNY WEATHER EXPOSES ALL THAT PASTY, PALE PORTLAND FLESH EVERYWHERE. REALLY BLEH.

THIS IS WEIRD: PUT ON MY FIRST SHORT PANTS OF THE SEASON, AND MY THIGHS WERE BRONZED WHILE MY CALVES/KNEES WERE ALABASTER. EXPLAIN.

I kicked ass on my shoulders (is that even physically possible?) over the weekend wielding a pole saw in the backyard. (No, not an electric one, what do you take me for?) On the plus side I 've started working on a slasher movie screenplay with a great pole saw scene.

too much masturbating with bronzer cream?

@6 HA!!!