GOOD MORNING, ALEX!!! HOW ARE YOU?!?

"EXTREME: A free-runner "engaged in an extreme sport called Parkour" misses his mark on the Steele Bridge and falls into the Willamette. A fisherman pulls him out. "

THERE'S TOO MANY E'S IN THAT SPELLING OF STEEL.

BLAST!

Guess we need some "No Parkouring" signs.

I THOUGHT PARKOUR WAS COOL FOR ABOUT A MONTH WHEN I WAS EIGHTEEN. WHICH WAS A WHILE AGO. AND I AM NOT HIP, SO I'M KIND OF AMAZED THIS IS STILL A THING. THANK GOD I NEVER JUMPED OFF A BRIDGE.

"I am not hip" kind of goes without saying when you're typing with capslock.

GOOD MORNING NEWS! FRUIT CUP HERE. I'M CONCERNED THAT NIGERIAN PRINCES MAY HAVE BEEN HARMED IN THE ATTACK, RESULTING IN AN INCREASE IN REQUESTS FOR AID MONIES.

WHAT?! HOW DO YOU TURN THIS DAMN THING DOWN? THE...THE RED BUTTON? I DON'T SEE ANY RED BUTTON.

GOOD MORNING! HOW IS EVERYONE? MRS. CAT & BEARD AND I WENT TO THE BALLET LAST NIGHT, IT WAS FANTASTIC. THANK YOU TO TRISH, THE MARKETING DIRECTOR AT OBT, FOR ENABLING US.

I was about to make a crack about pitching a saffron tent but then read that Mr. Lama "loves George W. Bush" and I couldn't bring myself to do it.