PORTLAND WINS DUE TO OUR NOT HAVING MULTIPLE HOMICIDES TODAY.

Seattle hates everyone and everything, including itself.

Portland really has no fucks to give, as far as I can tell.

Yeah, I like Seattle just fine. Fucks about this are not given by me.

No fucks here. Certainly not being given.

http://i.imgur.com/Rxmd0.gif

At one point in my life, I had a fuck—but lost it soon after moving here.

Yep, we outsourced our murder to Vancouver today. YAY.

alex zielinski is hands down the dumbest reporter this paper has ever employed.

it never fails.

her style is certainly unique. i'll give her that. you could remove all bylines forever and ever and i would still be able to guess which piece of shit is hers. just listen for that confused-half-wit voice she'll never be able to mask.

I would like to add that when I lived in Seattle, 90% of time I told someone I was from here the typical response was positive. Portland is liked everywhere!

Yeah, my extended family is all up in Seattle, and we all like each other's cities. Mostly we eat and talk a lot, which goes well with either city. Although we are all awful nice.

Seattle "like floating through a stream/of fish blood, gasoline."

Yeah. I really feel like the Portland/Seattle rivalry doesn't show up until I start talking about soccer. Then it just gets gross.

If you're seeking for fucks to give, look somewhere elsewhere!