Comments

1
Courtney did just raise the excellent point that Doctor Fingerbang is much funnier than Doctor Handjob. But the questions remains.
2
Let me be clear: I think "handjob" applies only to ding-dongs, but I'm still very much in favor of making with the manual fun times inside a lady's hoo-hah. Is there a vote I can make for that?
3
Diddle! If it was good enough for the Marquis de Sade, it's good enough for me.
4
I wonder if Dr. Fingerbang is one of our preferred providers.
5
I prefer to say "finger blasting."





Pew! Pew! Pew!
6
aaaand sex for everyone is ruined. Thanks Reymont!
7
I don't know how long I should leave my digital trail of fingerbang defense, but I'd like to repeat that I think fingerbang is a great word, and we're lucky to have it.

It's so funny sounding. FINGERBANG! Adorable.
8
It's a "job" or task that is performed with a hand, I think it's valid. Just how "getting head" can apply to a recipient of either gender. Though, I'm starting to like Hand Task too.
9
Further discussion: can a man give a woman "head?" Or must one defer to the now largely-unused term "giving face?"

I've heard ladies say they've received "head," and also heard them use the term "fingered" in an entirely positive manner. I say you tell Courtney to stick to actual English problems: this paper usually looks like it has no editors at all.
10
Dr. Fingerbang takes a lot of credit but it's really Nurse Upalittletotherightgoodyearightthere who does most of the work.
11
Wait, Courtney objects to your use of "handjob" and yet she lets Alex drop turds all over Btown on a daily basis! What the FUCK?
12
Dr. Giggles is the person of regard in this matter.
13
Doctor Pleazhivago.
14
SODOMY IS SODOMY AND ALL YOUR CUTESY NAMES FOR ONINSIM WON'T PROTECT YOU WHEN JUDGMENT DAYS COMES CALLING.
15
HANDJOBS FOR EVERYBODY! WHEEE!
16
Head includes blowjobs and eating someone out. We just need a more general term that encompasses both handjobs and fingerbanging.
17
TSW, that was too funny. And for eldepeche, how about digital delights?
18
Isn't Dr. Fingerbang the band leader for the muppets?
20
Handjob seems gender-neutral to me, while "head" is just a bizarrely nonspecific and vaguely gross term that should be retired (for both genders). "Eat out" should be left behind in adolescence along with "fingering."

Clearly, all terms for sex and sex acts should be replaced with embarrassed stammering, nervous hand gestures and whispers of "down there."
21
I vote for the practice of referring to all males as "dudes" to die many deaths until it is dead forever.
22
Did you really have to include details of you teen days on the band bus Allison? Uncomfortable. Anyway, when my girlfriend told me I had talented hands it meant something entirely different from when those words were used in my fighting career (and more enjoyable :))
23
FYI, it's called fisting
24
@23, No.
25
@22
I dunno what's worse: you giving us a bad visual, sexually.

Or

You bragging on the Internet of your "fighting days".


Either way, gross.
26
Pew! Pew! Pew!
27
I believe Dr. Fingerbang MD was a cancelled sitcom pilot from the early 90s on the Fox Network featuring Ted McGinley.

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