Title:

Lady Chatterley's Lover, Lady Chatterley's Other Lover, Lady Chatterley's Friend With Benefits, Lady Chatterley's Ex Who's Not Really an Ex Because They Still Fuck Sometimes, Lady Chatterly's Friend She Got Drunk With and Had Sex With That One Time, Lady Chatterley's Crush She Met at the Bar Last Week, Lady Chatterley's Friend From College With Whom She Said "Why Not" and Had Lesbian Sex With, Lady Chatterley's Old Flame Who's Happily Married and Who Invited Her to a Threesome, Lady Chatterley's Sexy Repairman Who Fixes Things Shirtless While She Watches, Lady Chatterley's Fuck Buddy, Lady Chatterley's Drunken Hookup, Lady Chatterley's Douchebag Boy Toy Whom She Only Fucks On Account of His Great Abs, Lady Chatterley's One Night Stand Whom She Awakwardly Ran Into at a Party the Other Night, Lady Chatterley's Piece on the Side, Lady Chatterley's Pool Boy, Lady Chatterley's Guy She Met on OKCupid, Lady Chatterley's Sad, Cute, Naive Guy Who Thinks They're All Boyfriend/Girlfriend and Mistakenly Thinks She'll Dump the Other Guys, and Lady Chatterley's Husband Who's Totally Cool With It and is Also Banging A Few Other Girls in His Own Time.

Summary:

The aforementioned characters get together and fuck Lady Chatterley.

THE TENANT OF WILDFUCK HELL

In which David Tenant is seduced by a mob of unruly succubi and incubi and must overcome them with his sexual prowess in order to restore order to the space-time continuum

( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Tenant_of… )

I'm, uncomfortable about the graphic nature of this contest. I am instead submitting only literary remixes about hugging.

"The Red Hug of Courage"
Teenage soilder Henry Fleming must find the courage to hug or run during the Revolutionary war. Either way, his mom will give him a big hug when he gets home.

"A Hug for All Seasons"
It's 1530 and Henry VII is getting cranky. It's up to his spirtual advisor, Sir Thomas More to find the right kind of hug to put the monarch's mind at ease.

"Doctor Zhivhugo"
Russian doctor/poet Yuri hugs his way through the October Revolution, while a beautifull Lara waits in the wings. Will there be a hug for her?

"A Brave New Hug"
A presumably Utopian world grapples with the presense of a new and dangerous hug.

"Twenty Thousand Hugs Under the Sea"
The crew of the Nautalus, a fantastical steampunk submarine, hang out on the ocean floor hugging octopuses (which can hug you 4 times).

"The Hugs of the Baskervilles"
Sherlock holmes must hug some mysterious dogs on a remote West Country estate.

Mobys dick
War and pieces of azz
On the road with sluts
This side of paradise wink wink
Porn store shipping news
Old man and the sea of regrettable one night stands
The Canterbury tail
Sex crimes and punishment
The winter of our discontent because the covers were summer weight
Sense and sensibility: obviously this has nothing to do with making good decisions.
The inferno in my pants

A Tail and Two Titties
In which an aristocrat's wife makes love to a donkey during the French revolution

Waters him Down
In which two people at a swimming pool go at it like rabbits

Lord of the Cock Rings
In which two hobbits go off into the woods together, and come back a few weeks later with their lives forever changed

Bathhouse-Five

Combine thousands of young men on holiday in Germany with plunger-shaped aliens and you've got the novel that produced Vonnegut's signature refrain, "So it cums."

Love in the Time of Chlamydia
Follow a tale of war and incest as generations of a Mexican family battle authoritarianism and disease in this dripping classic from famed Mexican novelist Gabriel Garcia Porkuez.

Of Vice and Men
The heartbreaking dustbowl tale of a married couple of migrant ranch workers moving across the west in search of work. As circumstances become increasingly desperate, Virginia accepts a less-than-usual job offer from a prominent landowner. As George continues to work as a bindlestiff, his wife gets a taste of the good life in her new role as the landowner's "bedmaid" in this Depression-era epic by noted author John Steindick.

The Chaste Land
An updated edition of a classic from famed poet T.S. Eliot, this has been hailed as one of the greatest erotic-updated poems of the 21st Century. Phrases from this work have penetrated American literary culture with such stark language as, "I will show you fear in a handful of lust."

Uncle Vanya
No, nevermind. Chekhov pretty much got this one right the first time.

Lord of the Guys

Young (but of age!), hot guys stranded on a tropical island, with nothing but time on their hands.

Old Man on the C: The journey of an elderly fellow's tense ride seated next to a sexually provocative twenty-something from Cathedral Parkway to Utica Ave while trying to subdue his resurgent lust, a lingering dose of Cialis and his inner demons. Hemingway's characteristic use of the word "tugging" takes on a new spin in this sweatpants-wearing adventure in lust and the peculiar scent of fish.

Sorry. I'm busy writing about sex for a living, including covering some of the super fun porn parodies that are coming out of LA, but I'll be curious to see what other's come up with.

I'm trying to imagine what a hardcore version of "Ulysses" would be like. Would we even be able to understand it without pictures?

The Cunt of Monte Cristo...... because sexual revenge is the best kind of revenge.

Finally made me create an account...

The Holey Bible

And God said let there be torrid, brutal sex, and it was good. Journey with various authors through this collection of stories about an obscure, ancient desert tribe and its perverse customs. Meet Jacob, who puts in long, hard hours at work during the day - and does the same with his boss's twins at night. And Lot, who retires to his cave for a quiet evening with his daughters, only to discover they have a bottle of wine and other ideas. Even the editor's son gets in on the action, marrying a prostitute and engaging in some hot BDSM with a group of soldiers. Three days later, he rises again and begins the buildup to an absolutely epic second coming.

Drunk & White ftw. good showing all, you buncha pervs.

(D&W, if you actually want your prize you gotta email me—ahallett at portlandmercury.com—or let me know in this thread if you're able to swing by the office and grab it. this is not a trap.)