I'm running as a write-in candidate with a "no to fluoridation/yes to weekly trash pickup" platform. (Also, I'd ban any unicycle taller than the average Trailblazer.)

YOU MEAN I GET TO SPEND A TUESDAY EVENING SPENDING TOO MUCH MONEY ON A RELATIVELY DISAPPOINTING TAP SELECTION AND TERRIBLE FOOD WHILE LISTENING TO THESE TWO JOKERS TRYING TO CONVINCE ME THEY CAN MANAGE THE CITY BETTER THAN THEIR TRIVIAL AND DODGY CAMPAIGNS? SIGN ME UP!!!

For a good time at Rontoms, order any cocktail fancier than a highball and witness the bartender's confusion, then the resulting drink.

ASK THEM WHY WE SHOULD CARE ABOUT THEIR MEDIOCRE APATHETIC CAMPAIGNS FOR A WEAK MAYORAL JOB.

Oh good, we so infrequently get to hear Jon Maus' opinion