What did it taste like, Steve? BITCH DON'T LIE! I KNOW you bought that atrocity and baked it up in your oven!

Hmmmmmm... I didn't... but maybe I should? I suppose it's my journalistic duty to take one for the team and try it out. Or perhaps you guys love me so much that you'd rather not force me to undergo such inhumane torture? (Please tell me I'm right.)

bro that shit is like two dollars at Fred Meyer. go nuts.

if you read the back, you'll find that they're not total assholes:

if you send in 85 proofs-of-purchase within a calendar year, they'll send you a coupon for 10%-off of your next angioplasty.....unless you have a preexisting condition (i.e., you're already a fatty).

and, JESUS H.!! -- i just hit your link for the 'the human centipede' -- thanks for that.

(as if i wasn't disgusted with the human race enough already.....)

I'll need to know if this has tomato sauce before I cast judgment. (Tomato sauceless pizza is BULLSHIT.)

From their website:

"TONY'S® Pizza took the country by storm in the 1970's when Marvin Schwan purchased [Dick] Barlow's little pizza company and began sharing it nationwide. The great taste of TONY'S® found its way into grocery stores and even schools."

So the company was started by a Dick and is a '70s throwback. That's explain's Tony's moustache and crossed-arms bad attitude.

I demand a taste test!

Hire PAC as a contractor to do a freelance piece in which he purchases and eats one, a la the Double Down.